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I feel like BPD is my secret. Nothing I’ve ever been willi

I feel like BPD is my secret. Nothing I’ve ever been willing to admit, so very isolating. Pretty amazing for me to come here and see there are so many members and that I am, in fact, not alone at all.
I am here because I have just “woken up” from symptom relapse. It’s scary to me that for the greater part of four months I did not recognize what I was doing. I was able to completely rationalize the terrible choices I’ve made, with no regard to my family or myself.
It’s disappointing- I was doing so well for so long. I didn’t see it coming. In hindsight I did take responsibility and begin to make changes on a few occasions over these recent months of madness. Maybe I wasn’t strong enough to stay with it, I don’t know.
Needless to say I have begun picking up the pieces, and am on the right path again.
I am trying to be easy on myself- self loathing won’t help me now.
But it still sucks so much.
I’ve got to fix the credit cards, face and end multiple inappropriate relationships, and head to an NA meeting to start.
I’m 39. This cycle is exhausting.
I’m grateful I found this forum, grateful to anyone who read this, and grateful I'm not alone.

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[70]
Feb 10

Thank you both for reaching out and listening. It’s priceless. I’m happy to be here

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[80]
Feb 12

What is NA? You said you are going to an NA meeting.

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[70]
Feb 12

@sunshine2296
Narcotics Annonymous

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