I am so terribly jealous of my crush.. since we talk more o

Ivory's picture
[7885]

I am so terribly jealous of my crush..
since we talk more often again
every second day i check his fb - recently added friends and scroll thru all their pictures and comments
and when they don't replay i keep refreshing page for hours
If i see some little thing that triggers me , that they don't "love" me, i start thinking suicidal thoughts and that my life and i- we are useless.
It is getting out of hands..
I'm so easily irritated..

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Ivory's picture
[7885]
Nov 14

@nafta thank you very much, i really needed this.. :) I know i should stop. I found out he has a civil wife and daughter. I should just say no. I felt really broken few days ago. Now i am trying to get back on feet. Isn't easy. I don't trust myself in setting boundaries and it scares me and is sad. I told him i know this, but he just ignored that and replied to another message.. i guess i am with a terrible person? But why and how.. it doesn't seem that terrible.. i see him as a wonderful person with his reasons at the same time feeling so stupid and dirty.. How did i get here... i should have said no in those many times many months before. I have always felt that it isn't good for me but have found reasons to justify him.
And now i am so ashamed. That i can only tell my best friend. I am so ashamed. Of what i let him do to me. I am so ashamed i didn't stop him. And this addiction have continued for so long.. And i am afraid i don't know how to stop it...

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