I am silently breaking down, My mind keeps racing and I can'

I am silently breaking down, My mind keeps racing and I can't get myself to calm down.. I don't have friends in real life and my family treats me like they wish i were dead.. I don't feel depressed. I just feel on edge, or like I'm on fire.. Im falling apart, but I don't know what cause this... its drive me insane. I feel unwell, unwanted, useless.. I just want to shut down and sleep for awhile, not end it. Just sleep.

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Daniellel34's picture
[3535]
Oct 12

@Dezi
I am just getting diagnosed now but no one cares .
I was doing stupid reckless things like drinking, drugs and stealing. so that is why no one talks to me . My uncle just thinks I am a bum. I have tried to apologize to everyone as well but it has been so long now I cant worry about it . Seems like for your age you are very mature . You have come a long way. Thank you

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littlemissdownonluck's picture
[970]
Oct 12

I know how you feel. I have BPD too and it can be hell for the people we love and that loves us. I never really fought with my family members but I put myself in stupid situations and hurt the one man i knew loved me more then i deserved .
It can be hard living with BPD and out actions make it hell for the ones who care. All I can say is dont give up on them ... Try to remember all the times that they should of walked away long ago but gave you another chance.

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[140]
Oct 13

Hey there, sorry to hear you are going through so much alone. You know, it takes a lot of courage to apologise to someone whom you have offended and I’m glad you did. You grew a little from the experience. One thing I have learnt in life is, when you realised you make a mistake, apologise for it but don’t have to expect forgiveness because if you do not receive the forgiveness you expected, you cannot forgive yourself. Your brother cannot let go of the offense doesn’t mean you cannot forgive yourself. God will bring him around in His good timing. It’s the same for all the other relationship as well.How about let’s focus on getting you well? Have you thought of talking to a counsellor or a therapist? Might be good. Pls consider. Take care and be well. Praying for you. God bless.

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