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I’m new here, because I’m having trouble navigating my s

I’m new here, because I’m having trouble navigating my sister’s Borderline PD... so, it’s always been a rollercoaster with her. She’s constantly splitting and only ever seems to be able to juggle a few relationships at a time. So I’m used to either being all important to her, or the worst person ever. I specifically moved several states away to shield my kids from her erratic behavior.
She’s always been an occasional presence in my kid’s lives. But over the top as far as gift giving and thinking them the best children ever.
Well, she recently left her husband and took up with her landscaper. She’s moved the landscaper into a spare house she and her husband own. Her husband is completely ok with the drama- allows her to move home, then back out, over and over. She doesn’t work, so her husband even financed a vacation for my sister and her lover a couple weeks ago. Very dysfunctional.
In the midst of all this, my sister suddenly decided that my kids are all ingrates who never valued her enough. So she has ghosted on all of us, wants nothing to do with us. It’s almost a blessing, because she is so messy that on the one hand I know it’s best that my kids get off the roller coaster. I don’t want them to learn to walk on eggshells like I have.
When she inevitably has a temporary come to Jesus, and wants us back (provided we apologize for our shortcomings of course) what do I do? I’m not ok with my kids being exposed to this. One of them is non-verbal and autistic, so my kids have enough on their plates without having to navigate my sister’s mental illness.
PS- sister IS diagnosed BPD but not actively seeking treatment- believes everyone else is the real problem...

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