Has anyone with BPD dated someone else with the same diagnos

jaymills's picture
[155]

Has anyone with BPD dated someone else with the same diagnosis? I have the idea to do this because no one else can really know what we go through. They can read about it but its not the same. My last 2 girlfriends ended up getting hurt and I don't want anyone else to get hurt. However I have a deep longing for connection, intamacy and affection. I know this could be a disaster but, if both people are sincere about working through their issues it could be a really nice thing. Maybe even very beneficial for the therapeutic aspect. Any thoughts on this?

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Lauren_Tiger's picture
[340]
Feb 14

I think about this a lot too! While I have never dated someone with BPD I have dated people with mental illnesses and I think something is hard to deal with is when someone needs to take time for themselves and concentrate on themselves. I think the hardest part of dating with bpd is that we get dependent on others and that would be hard to deal with if one person needed time for themselves.

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jaymills's picture
[155]
Feb 14

Thank you for sharing everyone. The last relationship I was a bit difficult as we met when I was going through a crisis. She struggles with anxiety and was very attatched and couldn't understand if I needed space. I'm typically quite grounded, centered and available emotionally I guess it was just difficult because of cicumstances. Since then I began therapy and am starting to feel much better as I'm coming out of this last depression cycle. I will most likely stay single for a while unless I meet the right person and I will tell them up front about my issues whether they have BPD or not. I did not know until I was recently diagnosed. I have always struggled with depression but I did not make the connection.

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WilliamJoe's picture
[1525]
Feb 16

Boy . . . good question. Not sure how you could find the balance necessary if both of you lost your footing at the same time. For me, it seems it would be emotionally less challenging to explain yourself to your loved one at times of lower stress levels when logic and proportion are not in question.

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