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Good morning, I am contacting you because I am in a pecu

Good morning,

I am contacting you because I am in a peculiar situation. I was involved with a man for about two years. Our life together has never been easy and our relationship ended on June this year. But we both love each other. While we were together and after we broke, I kept trying to figure out why our relationship was not working as we seemed to want the same things and we both loved each other. When I went to meet one of our friend in common, she told me something that opened my eyes that he might suffer from a mental illness. I contacted several therapists to find ways to help him have a better life and be happy as he has never been happy. And two therapists mentioned to me that they suspected he could suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and I recently started reading about that condition and I felt like I was reading about my life with him. So my doubts about the diagnostic is very slim. But that book also told me that he doesn't realize he needs help and what he is doing and that one of the only thing I can do to help him is to tell him that he needs help. So, I want to be able to meet with him and find the best way to tell him so he won't feel offended or be defensive or aggressive with me.

Can somebody help me?

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Pisces72's picture
Oct 12

Truthfully, I feel that most people with these illnesses already know something isn’t quite right even before we are diagnosed. I always knew I thought differently than others. I used to wish I could put my brain in someone else’s head just for five minutes so they could feel all these thoughts that I have. It’s scary when you know something is wrong but everyone acts like there’s not.
It was actually a relief for me when I was finally brave enough to go get help and get a diagnosis. I was finally able to say to myself “hey, I’m really not crazy…something really is wrong!” There was finally validation to what I’d been feeling and I finally was able to know that there are others just like me. Just tell him you’ve learned something about him. Ask him if he’s ever felt different from everybody else, and tell him what it is.

Oct 12

I know he does and he keeps saying that he needs help, but he doesn’t go and get it. I think that with your help ladies, I might be able to convince him. I am not trying to force him, but rather influence his decision for his own happiness. Thank you so much. I really appreciate your help.

Oh one more question, I have started reading about it and talked to therapists about it and what I have been told is that the only way to treat it is by years of therapy, is that correct?

Oct 17

Hi Ladies,

With your help, I think I was able to formulate the message I want to tell him. I would like to know what you think.

I made an important discovery. I think I know why you are in so much pain. Why you feel so different than others, like an alien. I might be wrong, but I think you might feel scared of your own thought and feelings. Why you are so scared that people doesn't love you. It is not your fault, it is no body's fault... After we broke up, I tried to understand why our relationship was not working... the real cause... I love you so much, I couldn't understand any of this.... So I discussed with a lot of people, I consulted therapists, I kept thinking about what happened and I read several books, articles, all lead me to one conclusion. Something that you already know deep inside, but that was never officialized. I am no therapist, I am no doctor, I can only go with what two therapists told me and what I read about it, but I suspect that you might have a personality disorder. Only a doctor or a therapist can make a final diagnostic, but this condition is very common and the good news is, it is treatable. You have no idea how much I want you to be happy and I really wish that this information will be useful to you... No matter what happens, please know that I will always be there for you.

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