I've literally begged everyone that can physically get to me

FrostedRaven723's picture

I've literally begged everyone that can physically get to me for help and they've all ignored me. No one understands how bad this hurts. I feel like I'm drowning and suffocating at the same time and I can't function enough to take care of my son right now. It has taken every ounce of energy and strength I've had today to do the bare minimum for him. I feel like a horrible mother and my only thought is he deserves a family that can do more for him. I'm extremely paranoid right now and keep having panic attacks. I'm trying so hard not to hurt myself just so I can feel something externally. I dare a single one of these f--kers to act like they give a d-mn about me once my son's dad gets home. I will literally go ballistic, I'm so tired of fake a-s people!

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FrostedRaven723's picture
May 25

@buddhabob my son got approved for his disability. Waiting for his back pay check to come in and we're taking a trip to our hometown in WV and then taking him to the Cincinnati zoo. We've been getting along pretty well. Finally got our vehicle fixed.

buddhabob's picture
May 26

@FrostedRaven723 - That *does* sounds a little better! I am glad for you, and I hope the trend continues.

Blueberries1234's picture
May 26

I think that when you're panicking, it's goos to remember friends arent trained to help you, depending on how panicked you are and could do harm tp you, or you could emotionally harm them in that state. The best thing to do is call a crisis line. As for your child. I recpmmend a channel on youtuve called patrick teahan LSW who talks about childhood trauma and neglect. Both for your own healing, and for avoiding similar outcomes for your xhild. You are doing your best, and if might look like "the bare minimum" to others, but it's important to have compassion for yourself. Compassion for yourself, becoming more in control of your own emotions, taking responsibility for tour own emotional regulation, and situation----this is very difficult to do when we need to be xomforted and no one steps up. But you have to be the one to give that to yourself, as an adult. If you can get counseling, and get parenting classes, and learn everything you can about childhood trauma---you will heal and your relationships will all improve.

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