Hi everyone. I'm new to this but I guess I feel so stressed

Hi everyone. I'm new to this but I guess I feel so stressed about life right now maybe this will ease some of it. The biggest problem I have been struggling with is jealousy. Me and my husband have been together for about 4 years and he has never cheated or anything of the sort. He gives me no reason to believe he is flirting, cheating, or looking at other females. But we cannot talk , leave the house, or even watch a movie together without me twisting his words or making things up in my own head to believe he is looking at other women. Like I said, he gives me no reason and I know it's absurd to freak out over NOTHING but I can't help it. I feel like he is looking at all these women sexually and get angry and kick the walls and throw things and behave in inappropriate ways. I've come to realize that my thinking is delusional but how can I change it when I feel so sure about it???? Please please help.. Any advice at all. Im sabotaging my relationship and can't handle it anymore. I want to be able to watch tv and listen to my man tell me about his day without flying off the handle!

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Slim2none's picture
[395]
Feb 9

[I'm assuming you are a woman] Find the most rational woman (or just person) that you can. Explain how you have been feeling. Ask if they will help by letting you relay to them the situations that you are hearing about that are upsetting you. Get their opinion.

95% of the time they will probably say, "Yeah you're being crazy. That's a totally normal way for him to act. lol Cut him some slack he loves you!", and its remarkable how much it will chill you.

Now maybe 5% of the time they might say, " yeah... that does sound weird", or even worse "uh oh!" and THEN maybe say something. At least you will have divided your number of freak-outs by 20.

Only problem is finding someone reasonable who doesn't mind being your crazy filter, and keeping a lid on it until you can talk to them. I would anytime but I'm on pretty sporadically. Best of luck! :)

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Half-Pint's picture
[265]
Feb 13

I feel your pain. I have been chalking it up to my age and the point I'm at in my life (41) - maybe premenopausal? I blame a lot on my hormones, but truth of the matter is, I feel insecure A LOT. I just feel like my husband is distant and worried about his job so much that he forgets how to take care of me and our kids...I know he loves us, I just can't deal with my own thoughts!!! I'm sorry you feel this way, I know it is miserable. How can we support one another? Should we just come here to vent instead of taking things out on our husbands? I need an outlet!! I have no friends and closest family is 6 hrs away, and I don't want to burden them with my relationship issues (which are mostly just my own issues in my head)...

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Mela31's picture
[260]
Feb 13

I couldn’t have have written this better myself ... you just described me :(
I do the exact same things and I’ve been with my husband for 7 years . I feel so bad for him at times and other times I feel like I hate him because in my MIND he’s cheating on me and when I’m being rational I know it’s not true . I know I have issues but I also have no one to talk to because I’d feel ridiculous . Well that and the fact that I have no friends because I have trust issues . My husband is great with me and our kids but I feel like I’m always trying to sabotage our marriage with my thoughts ... let’s help each other somehow this needs to stop

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