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My husband has borderline personality disorder. He filed for

My husband has borderline personality disorder. He filed for a divorce 8 weeks ago. I love my husband deeply and I know without a doubt that he loves me too. The mental issues are destroying us. He refuses to be medicated but he does see a therapist regularly, but I feel the therapy has made things worse. I’m dealing with Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. How do I destroy the Mr. Hyde within my husband? Is it possible?

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Sdiamond1026's picture
Aug 1

I know how you feel. I’ve been in this 28 yrs total. We dedicated our life to them and love only grows stronger. It’s so hard to walk away. I can’t because I haven’t had the courage to do it. I sometimes would hope she would just leave me and I would have no choice but no, she sticks around for the easy life I provided and knows she won’t have a good gig like this elsewhere. It’s hard to see now but if he is anything like my wife, it won’t change and you’ll be dealing with this for years and years and for some reason the older they get, the worse they get.

Sdiamond1026's picture
Aug 1

This sounds like my wife’s long lost twin. My wife did the same, tried to blame me for the affairs and if I bring it up she tells me I need to just “get over it already” and has no empathy or compassion for the pain she put me through. I was the same when I found out about the affairs, didn’t need to lose weight but lose 20 pounds very fast. I still only gained half of it back 5 yrs later. Then my hair started falling out like crazy due to the stress. It never really stopped, I still lose more in the shower than ever even though the crazy terrible anxiety is gone. I think just living in the aftermath and stewing in this is still enough to cause stress and I’m so used to it after so long, that I don’t really feel it so much even though it’s always there. So now I have the added stress of watching my hair fall out and thin every time I take a shower. It’s brutal. I feel like I’ve aged years in a short time too. It’s done so much to me. I’ve lost muscle, testosterone is lower than it used to be.. this does so much to hormones, cortisol and everything that no one realizes. My wife is also a master manipulator. So I know exactly what you mean. At least there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you once you get out of this. I don’t see any light for me as I am still here.

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Aug 2

@Beetmobile You are welcome. There is a good chance that somebody with BPD would just engage in splitting, or pit the therapist against you in order to further isolate you and then in his mind it would be supportive of him. I have worked with someone in the office who had BPD and they always managed to run off other coworkers in the office.


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