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Had another infusion today. I don't love this new clinic. Mu

Had another infusion today. I don't love this new clinic. Much more comfortable, well-staffed, pleasant. Too pleasant. I want to say look, I'm depressed, I can't do small talk. Heck, no big talk either. The doctor is an ER doc in his day job- ridiculous, ER doctors can't stand psych patients. He's very nice as well, but definitely he feels more comfortable with sedated people. I hate the ketamine. I thought my mood was better afterwards, but it didn't last. Now I'm cursing at myself because it seems like I just don't want to be better, and I'm wasting everyone's time and effort.

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@bebobaBetty -whatever the reason, being dropped is so hurtful. Especially since many of us have a history of rejection and abandonment. But healthcare people are just people, the training is inadequate, and the system in the US terribly unsupportive of good mental health care. Actually all healthcare but.. I am a very, very willing listener but sometimes even I avoid a patient who I know will need 30 minutes of emotional support. Horrible, because that's really not that much for them to ask, but I have so many other patients and responsibilities and urgent demands that I just can't always fit it in. It should NOT be like that!

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[120550]
Jan 14

@Woichneigewesenbin
Yes, it's getting to more 'corporate '. Sometimes we be just another number that affects the bottom line.

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[120550]
Jan 14

@Woichneigewesenbin
Thanks for the time you do give!

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