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I’m not understanding my own thoughts anymore. I feel as i

I’m not understanding my own thoughts anymore. I feel as if I need to feel something like immediate pain or sex to stop all this noise in my head . I want to cut so bad but I know that I would be found out . I need silence all the noise and feel something other than this emptyness. And what makes me feel even worst is that I know my ex isn’t going through half of what I’m going through since he left. I hear the term move on so much from people around me that it make me feel even worst. I’ve been trying just that. I’ve working out, seeing a therapist , trying to join groups and meeting new people but in the end this break up is like it happened yesterday and I’m in a time loop repeating the events that took place over and over again. I feel like I’m not in control anymore . I’m scared if I say these things to my therapist he might consider sending to inpatient facility. I mentioned something like this to my best friend the other and she put me on hold and secretly called my mother, next I knew she came banging on my door frantic and scared threatening to call the police. My friend was crying uncontrollably on the phone saying she was scared and sorry . In that moment I realize how I don’t belong here because I hurt everyone and I don’t have anything to offer anyone. I need this to end .

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Ms.Bridges's picture
[515]
Nov 7

For now I do have security in my faith and that’s gotten me out of rough spots before so I have no reason to doubt him.

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[1420]
Nov 7

You should try seeing someone like a psychiatrist and receive therapy as well. That is what works for my friend, she says therapy works better when she’s on her meds. Do you have support at home?

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Ms.Bridges's picture
[515]
Nov 7

I do but its a lot I don’t share with people at home because they assume the worst and are a bit judgmental.

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