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I'm not worth the help. I genuinely feel that way right now.

PeppermintSunrise's picture

I'm not worth the help. I genuinely feel that way right now. I don't deserve a family and a loving husband. I'll probably never find it. I'm not worth it, like my mom said no man will ever want me because of how ive been taught to take care of myself. Im too fat, too many skin blemishes, too many stretch marks, too many back rolls. No matter how many time I try to keep up with my hygiene I still feel so filthy and unworthy of even a hug. Don't look at me or touch me because I'm too dirty is how I feel.

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Scat's picture
Sep 19

If we try to base our value or worth on more tangible foundations than what people we know, or even don't know, think about us or even what we feel it'll go along way towards helping us muddle thru. I try to base my worth on what God says in the Bible about how He loves me, cares for my concerns, and will be there for me to the end, how I was made in God's image, like everyone else.

Sep 19

Dear PeppermintSunrise, You *are* worth the help and the love, and you are worthy of all the good fortune in the world.

Whatever your mother told you, she was *wrong*, both in her belief and her conduct. Please know that she may have been (or may be) doing the best she’s capable of, but she’s still wrong. You don’t have to hate your mother— you can even love her if you wish (love is complicated!), but know that she has been misguided and is wrong about you.

Whenever you feel unworthy, please change the channel in your mind to one in which your friends, whether from this site or elsewhere, are telling you: “Peppermint Sunrise is worthy of all the happiness, love, success and good fortune that the world has to offer. All good things!” Please believe me that this is more accurate than any of the things your mother has said to you.

In addition, I suggest that you try “tapping”, otherwise known as Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT, to reduce your anxiety and bad thoughts. It has worked extremely well for me (better than paid therapy!) and the technique is described online.

You can also use the technique to reduce the impact of bad memories.

Please know that my father was similar to your mother in many ways, and that I had a tough family situation and few friends as I was growing up. I have definitely felt much of what you are experiencing, but have managed to heal a lot of the past.

Please know that you are worth it and deserve the same good things that others receive.

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Sep 19

PeppermintSunrise, I see from a comment below that you have started therapy, which is great. Please ask your therapist to work with you on “thought stopping” and other techniques for replacing negative, bad thoughts with more positive ones. And if meds might be beneficial, discuss this possibility with your therapist.
The “thought stopping” is basically stopping the bad thoughts and changing to a happier channel.
Plus see my other posts. Great that you have started therapy— very smart and courageous!


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