Pivot, Plan B cont.

Last week’s blog topic, Plan B, resonated with members and those who follow the site on Instagram.  Life rarely going according to plan is a subject most of us are willing to pull a chair up and talk about, not because misery loves company, but because finding common ground creates community.  That is why SupportGroups is so successful, we offer a place where people can safely talk, allowing the circumstances and issues that are weighing them down to slide off, even if for a moment.    

You never know what's around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain. -Tom Hiddleston

Recapping where we left off last week, we stated that failure is inevitable and history books are filled with stories of failure that led often to success.   We now arrive at step two, acceptance.  We pivot in a new direction and forge a new plan or create a new pathway to reach the original goal.  Sounds easy in practice, but perhaps not so much in reality.  

Moving past feeling like a failure and mourning that we have come to the end of the road isn’t an easy part of the process, but it is necessary.  For instance, in college you choose a degree plan that at 18 years old seems amazing, you were a rock star in High School, the valedictorian, you were voted most likely to succeed, but at 20 your major isn’t exciting anymore.   After you completed a summer internship, you are even more convinced this isn’t for you.  You are sick with worry, you finally talk to your parents and meet with your advisor, you may lose credits and delay graduation.  That is the reality, but after careful consideration you decide to switch majors, you are incredibly happy, you can see yourself in this field, it excites you, you feel passionate about your studies again.  

But there is lingering disappointment that your graduation date has been pushed back by months, you worry about the added expense for your parents and yourself, and there is this constant fear that you have to prove to everyone that changing course was worth it. 

This is your pivot, the goal, graduation from college remained the same, but the path and all the rules changed.  There were consequences to deal with, anxiety, stress, additional time at school, money, parents that were less than pleased, but you knew that something huge in your life was off and you did a necessary pivot.  

Things to remember when you decide to go with Plan B and Pivot:

• While it may affect those in your life, this is your decision to make and live with

Staying in a job you hate, in a relationship that is on life support, staying friends with people who don’t support you or belittle your life choices isn’t healthy or beneficial.  They were part of a different path, a different life direction, the situation has changed and different decisions must be made.

• Change anxiety is real 

Change is hard, there is often comfort in even the most awful life situations.  We stay in relationships we are miserable in because we are scared to have to move, date someone new, have someone else learn all our likes and dislikes and how we like our coffee in the morning.  

We make ourselves a nervous wreck going back and forth over what we should do, we even poll strangers on our instagram stories because we are so scared to make a decision, even though we know in our hearts what we have to do.  

• Fear is a thief

Fear tells us to put off what we want, for the comfort of what we know.  But it is time to get out of your head and your comfort zone.  Will you regret your life pivot, probably not, will you mourn what brought you to it, yes, probably so.  

For example: Your whole life you knew you were meant to be a mom or dad.  However, due to life circumstances or medical issues, biologically or physically, you find out that you cannot get pregnant or biologically create a child.  

For a while you rail at the universe for dumping a huge pile of lemons in our lap.  After a while you pivot, you look into fostering, adoption, embryo adoption, surrogacy, egg retrieval, egg donors, the whole works.  You do what is necessary and legal to make your goal a reality.  Once you reach your goal, it is so worth it, the pivot hurt, it wasn’t the original plan, but the end goal you come realize, is all that matters.  

Pivot, change directions, lean in a different direction, it all means the same thing.  Trust your instincts, know that change is necessary, it is hard, it is scary, but ultimately, if it is the right thing to do, then do it.  

Be bold, be strong, keep coming here for support and in turn, support others.  You are worthy of your end goal, even if the path seems bumpy and impossible at times, keep at it, you are strong and brave enough to find your way.  

Wishing you all nothing but the very best,

Team SG