Imperfection is my kind of perfect

Every evening around 5 p.m. I start cringing, it is time to start dinner, I don’t actually find the task of cooking to be that horrible, I don’t even mind the shopping, but when your kids are critics of the worst kind, the desire to cook delicious and nutritious meals for them is not exactly the highlight of my day. Growing up, I can’t actually say I remember many of the meals we ate at home, we did eat at home many nights of the week, but whatever was made, you ate, because that was what was expected.

The only meal I remember thinking was cruel and unusual punishment as a child, I am sure there was more than one, but this one sticks out, was mushroom barley soup. It was slimy and vile, and I am basically sure I just mushed it around and dumped it at the first opportunity. So, like most people, I read somewhere that family dinners were the cornerstone of a healthy family dynamic, or something like that, so fine, we sit together, we eat or should I say my husband and I eat while refereeing our kids. There are lots of reminders not to eat with their hands, I think they would all enjoy living in a country were eating with their hands is the norm; to use their napkins and their manners and for God’s sake, SIT UP! They are like gummy worms, they slide down in their chairs like they have no bones, while stretching out their hands towards their plates!

I am quite sure they would make Emily Post cringe, but I am starting to TRY, try being the operative word, to see this is a stage and that this too shall pass and hopefully in College they will eat like humans without me being around (we can only hope). So all this personal drama from my life sets the tone for this realization that, imperfection is okay, it is actually more than okay, it is a kind of perfect. We can’t all live in a world where everything is instagram perfection, there aren’t filters for real life, most days there is not enough foundation to cover up my dark circles that I think I was born with, there is not enough coffee to satisfy me and when my anxiety and depression aren’t taunting me, there isn’t a more perfect life than the one I am living; chaos, grumpling about eating their vegetables, and all!

“One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn't exist.....Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist.” -Stephen Hawking

Without going into the reasoning why we crave perfection, because it is clearly an ideal that stems from Social Media and Media in general, let’s delve into how we can live a beautiful life of imperfection!

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.” - Brené Brown

A great way to start is to write down what you wish you could change in your life in general, in your job, your relationship, etc. and then look at that list and try to identify the emotion behind each change you would like to see.

Are you unhappy, does it make you upset, angry, disgusted, embarrassed…? Now ask, “Why?” Going back to my dinner time routine, I am trying to look at this time as a teachable moment, that their palates at one point may actually like spinach, asparagus, or roasted squash (for the record some of my kids actually do, the youngest, not so much). As they are not little dictators, they will just have to keep trying to like these things that are healthy and I will have to keep my temper under control when they whine, yet again.

“Life isn’t meant to be lived perfectly…but merely to be LIVED. Boldly, wildly, beautifully, uncertainly, imperfectly, magically LIVED.” -Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

When you look at the emotions behind your frustrations the answers seem to come fast and furious, most of the things we are upset about are more about us, rather than the people around us that we tend to blame for how we are feeling and reacting.

A little exercise to incorporate into your life:
When you are feeling like all the plates you are holding and spinning are about to crash down, consider this, why do you feel that those plates all need to be up there in the first place? What is the impetus behind all these tasks? If certain seemingly imperfect areas in your life are causing you anxiety , ask yourself, “can it be banished?” If having a clean home is a source of constant strife, see if a housecleaner is in your budget, or if homework time is when all hell breaks loose, see if your school or library offers free tutoring, if not, a personal tutor is an option, albeit, expensive as they are. For me, every once in a while eating out or getting pre prepped meals is a divine luxury, especially when they can accommodate all the food needs and allergies we have under one roof.

Life is not often perfect, but in its own imperfection, lets focus on and look for the beauty.

Wish much love and support-
Team SG

Imperfection is my kind of perfect

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account