Failure to Thrive

Everyone desires to be the hero of their own story. We want to be the conqueror, the winner, the savior and we shudder at ever seeming needy, as the loser or the one who just cannot find their way in life. It is inevitable though that at one time or another we will fail and need help, because failing is human.

The sports world is a wonderful example of how failure doesn’t make us less than. Every basketball team wants to make it to the playoffs, every football team wants to make it to the Superbowl and Soccer Teams dream of the World Cup. But only two teams make it to the finals and only one team comes out the winner.

Failure is another stepping stone to greatness. -Oprah Winfrey

When did we as humans start to believe that we were invincible, that we had this life thing covered and whatever path we chose was going to be the right one? That is like thinking that just because we are sport enthusiasts we could magically play in the big leagues. The top athletes in the world train hard, they do drills over and over, they eat what they are told, they practice even when they aren’t feeling well and they do it over and over. They train so they have a shot at winning, but failure is always looming.

Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street. -Zig Ziglar

It is a given that for almost all of us, there will be many obstacles in our life that seem to thwart our success! What we see as failures, addiction issues, eating disorders, mental health issues, relationship issues...are truly just obstacles in our life. They don’t make us failures, they remind us of our humanity. Perfection isn’t a human attribute and failure is a social construct.

Social Construct:
an idea that has been created and accepted by the people in a society
(Merriam Webster Dictionary)

When I was around five years old and learning to ride a bike, I crashed into a sticker bush. I refused to get back on and didn’t actually learn how to ride until I was ten years old. That summer I was visiting my grandparents and I started pedaling around on my younger cousin’s bike. This time it just worked. At five I was convinced that riding a bike was too hard and too painful, perfection didn’t come as easily as I thought it should. My friends must not have pressured me to ride, so I wasn’t labeled a failure or left out of their games (this is where the social construct comes in). At ten I tried again because the bike was there and I was probably bored. The point of this personal anecdote is that we can’t all be brilliant on day one. When we decide to actually face our addictions, eating disorders, relationship issues, mental health issues, physical health concerns, we must approach them with an attitude of grace, for what we have been through, the failures we have survived and the ones that may yet to be in our future and look towards a time where we will thrive.

We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes-understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.
-Arianna Huffington

What leads people to our site is often that feeling that they have somehow failed at life. But after a time of asking for support and reading other member’s comments, the familiar feeling of failure is replaced with a knowledge that other people have been through what you are going through and they have survived. Not only did they survive, but they are thriving, or on the path to thriving. The change does not come overnight, but it comes.

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
-Truman Capote

Be true to yourself and never ever give up, we see the strong and brave individual you are. You might not see it now, but in time you will. Until then, keep coming back, ask for support, give support, and work towards a life that makes you proud.

All the best-
Team SG