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I don't know who I am or what I am. Technically, I guess I'm

I don't know who I am or what I am. Technically, I guess I'm bisexual, but I have no idea. I'm male. I've never had nor wanted a relationship with another man, but I've had sex with men. I'm turned on by having sex with men, just not being emotionally close to them aside from friendship.

I've only ever been in relationships with women. I'm married, and I love my wife. We have very regular and very satisfying sex.

I don't know how to handle my sexual attractions, or my desires. I'm not out, I have no plans to BE out, because I'm not sure what that even means. Being married means I'm not looking, nor have I ever. I'm faithful to my wife. But I still think about, am turned on by, and masturbate to the idea of, sex with men.

I don't know if this is something I need to address, or just something that is a part of me that doesn't need to be addressed, like my love of gooey cheeses, or my guilty-pleasure love of really bad sci-fi movies.

Both of those things are also desires I have that i don't feel I need to express in my everyday life.

My wife is aware that I had physical encounters with men in between my relationships with women. It's not a factor in our lives because, as I said, I'm faithful, and have no desire to NOT be, with men or women.

I simply don't know how to feel about this, and I've never talked to anyone in a similar situation.

Thanks for listening.

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View 9 More Comments
Mar 13

so the fact that you do feel bad after is normal, it's the erotic excitement that feeds your cravings.. how do you feel before and during an encounter? and how far do you go when you find someone? are there certain fantasies that you like to play out?

Mar 14

Before there is lots of sexual excitement. During is pleasurable and after is just confusing and guilt... as far as fantasies.. yes I have a few... and yes I would like to play those out.... it would be nice to find a safe person to experiment with... I just do t want to develope feelings for them... it’s so complicated... I’m sure u understand..

Mar 16

@Swish901 ... yes I do understand.. if you would add me to the people you support, we could talk privately and maybe even exchange emails...


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