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I am 41 years old, married to a man, we have 6 kids between

I am 41 years old, married to a man, we have 6 kids between the 2 of us. I have the perfect life in the outside...but on the inside I have been hiding and repressing a part of me my whole life. I have always known I have an attraction to women too.. I have felt this way since middle school. I grew up in a Christian household which was more bible thumping than loving and about grace. My cousin came out as lesbian and my whole family except me and my 2 cousins shunned her. I quickly learned to press those feelings down and was even disgusted by them...disgusted by me. So I married men...3 of them, had 3 kids, went to college, did everything i was supposed to do. But there was always that part of myself that i hid...to others and myself.

So when Chris Daughtry's wife came out as bisexual and I talked to my husband about it, he made a remark about how lucky Chris Daughtry was, I thought that was my chance to finally open up to my husband. Apparently I got the wrong message. So supposedly my husband has a fantasy of 2 women together but can't handle his wife being bisexual. His response was utter disgust for me...so now I feel even more alone and disgusted with myself. I feel like the most lonely person in the whole world. The one person in my 41 years of life that i finally open up to has rejected not only the fact that i am bisexual but also rejected me. The pain is more than i can bear

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SpecialFireK's picture
[920]
Jul 8

Srry That Happened To U Its Never A Good Thing To Feel Lost Or Alone Trust Me I Know This Feeling All To Well. Especially After Being Teased, Called Names And Rejected By The One U Love But I Think It Would B Safe To Say Maybe U Should Sit Down And Have A Serious Conversation On The Matter And Tell Him Ur True Feeling On About It And Tell Him How It Truly Made U Feel When He Said What He Said. I Wish U The Best Of Luck

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hfreeman17's picture
[1405]
Jul 14

I'm so sorry to hear that, too. Sounds like he was taking your admission from a selfish standpoint (i.e. "Gee, this means I get to have two women!") but that's on him, not you. That said, I can totally understand the loneliness. At least here, and though it's digital and not in person, you have people who can empathize. For what it's worth, I feel very alone as a bisexual man in a long-term marriage.

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hfreeman17's picture
[1405]
Jul 14

...and by the way, it is SO hard to admit to ourselves, first and foremost, the truth of what's going on. Sometimes it goes against everything the world around us is saying. And it creates lots of fear. So, keep sticking with honesty...it's the best policy!

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