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Someone had suggested I join this group as she recognizes th

[585]

Someone had suggested I join this group as she recognizes the situation I have with a good friend. We have been lifetime best friends. About two years ago, my friend became suddenly angry when we were having a phone conversation and she told me that for the next while, our discussions had to be about her because of the rough times she had been having. I was taken aback, and then spent some time over the next while, thinking of how I had made her feel neglected. Over the last two years, she has withdrawn a few times from our friendship, saying that she needed time to work things through-feeling upset with me that she felt that I wasn't supportive enough. Her doctor had suggested that she go on anti-depressants, but she has refused medication. She instead switched doctors. About two months ago now, my friend had called me several times one morning(at work) telling me that she was upset about something that she had been worried about. I called her back and we discussed the situation and how to solve it, and then she went away for the day. That night I was packing for a vacation and I left early the next morning, but later that afternoon, I called her to check on her.There was no answer. I called her again the next day and the next, and on the third day she picked up. She became very upset with me, that I hadn't called her on the Friday night(the night that I was packing) as that is when she felt that she needed support. I told her that she could have called me and she said that she didn't have the energy, and that she didn't pick up the phone when I called over the next few days, as I was too late, and she was upset with me. She later told me that we would have to talk about this again(this has happened before). I went to see a counselor about how to deal with this and the counselor told me that I should tell my friend that her actions over the last two years, have made me anxious and that has caused me to pull away in the friendship. I did discuss this with my friend and she told me that she felt badly that this is how I felt, and that she was going to go it alone for the next while to work on things. About a week later, she sent me a message that my reactions to her was "bizarre" and that she had simply reached out for support and if I had called her on the Friday night as she wanted, everything would have been fine. There have been a few times over the last two years, where she's felt that I should have reached out to her, when she was feeling upset, but if I've called her, it has been viewed as being too "late". I've told her that I would be willing to see a counselor with her to discuss our friendship, and initially she rejected that and I haven't heard from her again for a few weeks. I don't want to have a conversation with her one on one, because she has a tendency to lash out when she's angry and believes that only her view is the right view. I want her in my life, but the anxiety over our friendship has taken it's toll on me over the last two years, and so I remain apart. I don't want to feel like I am being controlled. I don't know if this is a bipolar issue with my friend, but someone who is on this board, felt that it was and so here I am. Thanks for listening.

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[103865]
Oct 9

Wow, we might know the same person. I had an acquaintance that thought we were close friends and she was getting weird like this. It was too much for me to handle. She randomly calls acting like nothing has happened. I can't bring myself to call back. I think it is abusive behavior. I don't deserve to be treated bad. I did nothing to her and I am not able to fix her upbringing. Good luck to you.

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[575]
Oct 9

This friend was extremely close bebobaBetty and for most of our lives. Yes, this behaviour has been like this for the past 2 years. When she had written down the times that she had called over that last 2 days, with no acknowledgement that I had returned the calls, and then told me that I had called her "too late", it did become too difficult for me. I am trying to deal with this still. Thank you and good luck to you as well.

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[575]
13 hours ago

I had read an online article on bipolar a few days ago, and I must admit that I found it tremendously helpful. It was from the perspective of the author who had bipolar and her longtime friend and how the bipolar had affected their friendship. I saw several similarities between what was going on in their friendship and what was going on in mine. The one most interesting takeaway that I got from the article, is that the author's friend had said to her friend who had bipolar, that she didn't always contact her friend and that sometimes her life got busy and she did other things, and that with her other friends, this was still okay-to be busy with her life. I was almost stunned to read that, because the pressure had been on me for continual contact, especially in the previous months prior to our break. I had felt guilty for not being there for her,even though I had basically constant contact and that was because of my friend's constant demand for support. Thanks to those who have given me such great advice.

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