I was recently hospitalized and officially diagnosed with bi

[10]

I was recently hospitalized and officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder back in february. I am 21 years old. Thankfully i "caught it in time". However, I still feel like my life is over and i have recently been doing some serious cleaning up of my life in an attempt to get it back in place. I guess my problem is, Im really having a hard time and theres nothing i can do but tough it out. Today, i wrote a list of why im having a hard time doing my homework. I really don't want to bother anyone so i felt like joining and posting on a support group.

why am i struggling to do my homework 9/12

my mind is wandering about what my life SHOULD be
I’m beyond tired from being stressed out from the past few days of no sleep
im lonely and just want to be around people that like and understand me
I’m overwhelmed at everything and anything
i miss my ex and wish he would talk to me but he won’t
I’m passively suicidal
i have the urge to keep checking my phone although nothing is there
I’m struggling to accept the fact that life isn’t fair and that I’m the only one who can help myself rn

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kisobel's picture
[174970]
Sep 12

Hello @Smidg4n and welcome here. You have arrived in a very warm and supportive environment. I like your list of why you are struggling to do your homework. You are around people here who understand you and we all look forward to getting to know more about you. Keep posting!............Kisobel

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[21360]
Sep 13

@Smidg4n
Welcome to SG! You are having what I call a "Purple Hat Day." It's when our minds are all over the place and we can't identify our mood. (If I can identify the mood, I can solve it.) I admit, I'm spoiled, I have a purple hat. I put the hat on in the morning and I wear it all day. I look around me and I pick out anything that is out of order, a task waiting to be fulfilled. I take one task at a time. For example, dirty dishes. I go to the sink and I start washing the dishes, wearing that purple hat. When the dishes are done, I find another task. At the end of the day, I look around me and realize that during my mental chaos, I was able to put order back into my life.

Just before bed, I look in the mirror and find myself smiling as I remove my purple hat, knowing that I know the magic to turn chaos into balance. Instead of focusing on the issues, look around you and restore order to what you can. Tomorrow is another day, I'll keep my hat near by and face it when it comes.

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