Hello, I am new to this forum and to this group in particula

Hello, I am new to this forum and to this group in particular. I have had bipolar disorder For 25 years and it has been a roller coaster ride to say the least. On top of this I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and CFS about a year ago. I also developed Plantar Faciitis not shortly after that and am having so much trouble with that I can hardly walk. I have been unemployed and fighting for disability for over a year. My pain is constant . Some days tolerable and other days not so much so. Today is a bad day. One of those days where I truly believe I just cannot go on like this. I’m not actively suicidal because I know that things change all the time and I may not feel like this a week from now. I am just so tired of being in pain and not being able to do the things I love or to have money to do the things I like. I have a husband of twenty years and two teenage children and we are really struggling financially. I just feel like I have no value. I’m unable to work, my husband has to wait on me so much. I’m really down on myself even though I can tell myself that I cannot help the condition my body has put me in. I have always been emotionally/ mentally unstable and that has caused me a lot of depression and anxiety and cost me friends, family and opportunities. I’ve always been very athletic and physically capable. My physical body has never been an issue until it fell apart over a year ago. I don’t know how to live with a mind, emotions and a body I cannot rely on. I feel like I’m good for nothing. I should be in therapy but can’t afford it. I need someone to talk to. I feel so alone even in a busy household because my family and friends just don’t get how hard my life is right now. I just don’t think I can live like this for very much longer.

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Sunshine@me's picture

@Desert Bohemian. This is a good group to reach out and chat. I heard you are struggling financially I recommend selling stuff on Next door.com in your area or one of the online market place apps. Craigslist. Etsy. I am sorry you are going thru this. I will start supporting you. Then you can private message me on here. This stress is causing anxiety. Oh just a suggestion I take over the counter Benadryl when I am stressed. Just make sure it won't interfere with any other medication or vitamin. Chat anytime. Take care


Hey Sunshine. Thanks for reaching out. I’ll look into Nextdoor.com. Never heard of it. I use marijuana for pain, depression, anxiety, etc with more success than anything I’ve ever taken before for my bipolar or my pain conditions. I think I really would have ended my life these past couple years if it hadn’t been for weed. Some days/weeks the severity of how drastically my life has changed for the worse and the repercussions of my new life are overwhelming. The current of sorrow and loss are strong and sometimes it’s hard to keep my head above water. I feel like I have died and am grieving the old me, my old life. It’s a very real loss for me. Tell me a little about your story.

Sep 16

Hi and welcome. Glad you had the insight to get connected here and to be part of a community of support. We all need it! I can see why you are feeling overwhelmed since you are trying to manage so many unmanageable factors in this moment. Any one of these things would be challenging let alone all of them concurrently so definitely give yourself some credit for the strength and perseverance that you are demonstrating in your daily life!
Unfortunately disability is a lengthy process but if you keep the process moving forward and if your physician(s) are agreeing that the multiple factors make you a good candidate, it will hopefully come together.
Since the Plantar Faciitis is something that has many treatable options including surgical correction, is there any talk of that in your case?

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