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So tonight for supper my narc husband was bringing home pizz

So tonight for supper my narc husband was bringing home pizza and as I was thinking oh thank you God for not making me cook tonight my 16 year old gets very close and whispers , "do you think Dad will get mad if I eat left over soup or should i just eat the pizza?" It stopped me dead in my tracks! She is the oldest of 4 kids that we have together. Talk about breaking my heart and anxiety, no child should have to grow up in fear like that over something so small and petty.

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Daniel1018's picture
[9600]
Jan 13

@Petmom I feel the same. Everything I wanted to do with my money she wouldn’t allow. I was very conservative with my money before I met her. It’s such a shame what she did with my money and still me and the kids suffer from it.

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[2035]
Jan 21

We have that same issue with food in the house. About three weeks ago, my middle child whispered something similar to me...my wife heard it. She went off like dynamite, blaming me...said that I trained the kids to always think she is mad. I tried to calmly tell her that she had done a nice job of that herself....from cussing out everyone routinely for nothing. They tiptoe around her almost as much as I do. I give them credit, though.... A lot of times, they just light the fuse with no worry, where I will do the eggshell walk.

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It should be an eye opener when the kids say something about Narc-Parent's behavior, but I understand where you are. I have a son from a previous marriage and the narc I'm now divorcing has been his stepdad for the last 12 years. And I use "stepdad" lightly. My narc degraded, ignored, and ostracized my son. He punished me for loving my son. Accused me of making my son gay and said my close relationship to my son was Oedipal. Ugh. To have 12 years of my life back! For my SON to have 12 years of HIS life back!
But, get this... My son will soon be 20. He is loud and proud and he's lived and study abroad for the last three years. He's living his dream life. I finally got to visit him over Christmas (of course, my narc always had intentions of taking me to the UK, but we just never had enough time or money. Imagine that.) While I was there, my son said something very poignant. He said, he'd meet some new people and one of them was acting a little off. He recognized this kid's narc behavior and decided to never hang out with him. My son also said that he feels wiser and more capable of dealing with college life having had to deal with my a-hole narc for so many years.
Kids absorb everything. Kids are also resilient.
But, you are the sane adult in the family. You'll know when it's time to leave. Prepare for that day.

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