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TW: Suicide, Suicidal Ideation I was just recently diagno

ARose14's picture
[750]

TW: Suicide, Suicidal Ideation

I was just recently diagnosed with BPD and Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder. After years and years of wondering what was wrong with me; the answer is finally right in front of my face and I don't really know what to do or how to take it. A couple of weeks ago, I tried to kill myself and was admitted to a mental ward for several days. I wish I could go back because real life is too overwhelming right now. What do I do? I don't know anymore. My suicidal ideation is still really bad...

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[23445]
Apr 15

With bi-polar u r gonna feel this way (suicidal) until ur doctor puts u on the right combination of meds, and a dose high enough to get the suicidal thought under control. The responsible thing for u to do the next time u feel suicidal is, call 911, tell them u r suicidal from bi polar and u need to be put in the hospital for a few days. The ambulance will come get u, and the hospital doctor will help u with ur medicine combination. Bi polar is something u have for the rest of ur life. So u have to work with it and stop working against it. There r ways around not feeling suicidal as bad as u have been.

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Alainafirefly's picture
[1600]
Apr 15

Hi ARose14, I'm sorry you are in a lot of pain right now. I hope you are feeling better soon. When I get into a bad episode, I force myself to call my therapist, or a suicide hotline. Being able to talk to someone can really help to ease the pressure. I was embarssed to call the hotline at first, but once I got over it, it has been very helpful. I also have a 'distraction/relaxation' plan (from the DBT workbook) that I force myself to do. Im not in DBT therapy, but I just ordered the book and read it myself. If you like to read, I recommend it. Hope you are feeling better soon. <3

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kisobel's picture
[208085]
Apr 15

@Alainafirefly - I think that is a great way to deal with a lot of pain. I have to say though, once I called the Suicide Lifeline and everything was going okay until I said I had BPD and the person there said "What do you want?" in a really cold way. Well, like someone once told me - you can always hang up and call again and get someone more empathetic. We're here for you and each other always @ARose and welcome to SG. :)

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