Yesterday was the last day. In the past year to two years no

Yesterday was the last day. In the past year to two years now has been a very big struggle, there have been some family struggles, depression, eating disorders and so on. I am an untreated bulimic who stopped purging because people started to notice. The only problem is that I now struggle with binge eating and I have tried just about everything, but nothing seems to work anymore. My biggest source of food that I struggle with is sugar. I have it so much, but I just can't stop. It has gotten to the point where that's all I think about. My body shaming is still here but I play it off as if I am joking. Truth be told, I hate food so much because of my relationship with it. I need it to survive but I can’t control myself around it and I wish I could. I hope by reaching out, I’ll be able to get some form of help because it has become too much for me to handle.

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AnaLeigh's picture
[76150]
Nov 17

I completely identify with what you're going through right now, my friend. What helped me overcome my sugar addiction was using stevia instead. It's 3x sweeter than sugar so you don't have to use as much. It's all-natural and your body processes it differently than sugar, so it's healthier for you.

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[100]
Nov 18

I think the first step is acknowledging what the problem is and you have taken that step! The problem then becomes, when we have that information, what are we going to do with it? You know what the problem is. You know it is not ideal, but how bad do you want a change? Bulimia has controlled my life for several years. I also have a love/hate relationship with food which also leads to much body shaming or feeling guilty for eating even when I am eating healthy! We have a choice to allow it to control us or begin to take the steps to control it. Bulimia is not driven exclusively by just binging/purging. It is something much deeper in our lives and in our hearts that drives the behavior. I know it's hard. I know it's scary, but if we want true healing and to be freed from this "monster" we have to be willing to face those issues. It will take a lot of hard work and effort, but the behavior will not stop unless we make the commitment to stop it. We will never have a healthy relationship with our bodies or food unless we are willing to confront the demons that trigger us to engage in the behavior. Please get some help. Talk to a therapist or join an eating disorder support group. Bulima can have long lasting physical effects if it goes untreated! I know that taking these steps has greatly helped me, but I first had to come to a place of not wanting to continue in the cycle and had to make an effort to change it. You also don't have to continue in the cycle. You are strong and you are brave! Do you know how I know that? Because you acknowledged the problem and shared it with others! I hope you can get the help that you need and this cycle will end for you! Hugs to you!

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