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I posted a little bit ago but feel like I need to post again

I posted a little bit ago but feel like I need to post again. Rejection is the primary feeling that originally triggered my binge eating when I was a child. I've experienced a lot of rejection in my present circumstances, and have been reminded of the original rejections as part of my recovery process recently. The antidote to rejection is acceptance - so I'm making use of as many resources as I can to demonstrate that in the here and now, I'm safe and accepted and there are even people who are protecting me (therapist and social worker), which is not an experience I got to have as a child. I've gained some weight in the past couple of weeks as a result of binge eating but instead of berating myself, I'm making an effort to exercise more along with attending online support meetings - and using this website. The binge behavior is not the real issue - the issue is that I've been injured mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically and recovering from that is an up and down, back and forth process. I will probably always struggle with trauma symptoms to a greater or lesser degree but as I learn more about myself through recovery work, I can respond to myself with love and kindness instead of with anger and punishment, which are what I learned in my childhood. I'm in a lot of pain and I'm learning how to be okay with that, knowing that it's not forever, and that I'm not actually alone in my pain. If we would all collectively transform our pain into love, acceptance and the will to thrive, I think the whole world would change.

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CKBlossom's picture
[468885]
May 26

From my perspective you are doing amazing, you are taking care of your abused and mistreated inner child, when you eat, try to think, am I nourishing myself and my inner child, or am I using food to punish myself? Be mindful and when things still get out of hand, continue to not judge yourself, but recommit to trying again.

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LollyNews's picture
[58605]
May 26

Acceptance is the key. I will try to remember this part for myself today. When I accept things as they are it’s much easier to not beat myself up.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I understand. I’ve experienced the same things.

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LollyNews's picture
[58605]
May 26

I’m asking myself, am I going to hate myself today or am I going to love myself today. I know that if I over eat I’m not gonna feel good. If I’m going to love myself today I need to think about that. Think it through.

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