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I have been struggling with my binge disorder for 10 years.

I have been struggling with my binge disorder for 10 years. I tried everything to fix it, EVERYTHING and nothing worked. But when I graduated from law school in May of this year it magically went away, it was crazy! I was so happy and free-I got super fit, lost 25 pounds, ate super healthy, and was very social. Three weeks ago I moved to a new city for work, and my binging has returned after 5 months. Today I binged and just stared out the window of my apartment all day. I'm gaining all of my weight back and becoming very depressed. I'm guessing its because moving has been very stressful, I don't know anyone in this city, and I am not great at socializing in big group settings. Any suggestions?? I really really don't want to go back to fighting every single day not to binge and having it rule my life again.

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 3
BlackLily's picture
[14545]
Nov 24

@MoMarie, I used to binge all of the time. Sometimes I catch myself at least one meal if things get stressful. I don't overindulge like I used to, just enough that it makes me question my eating habits though. I wonder, maybe you could go outside for a short time once you feel like bingeing and then slowly make it longer as time goes on. Maybe have coffee on your porch (if you have one), or maybe take a day to go to the beach and be involved (listening to the waves lapping at the sand, feeling the warm sand between your toes, even finding the spots of coolness in the sand, and feel the warmth of the sun pouring on you). You could also gradually implement the sounds of people, boats, cars, and maybe even music. I'll tell you now that I feel like you were successful in knowing that you graduated from law school, which is a huge confidence boost. However, when there's any amount of change in our lives it can cause a great amount of anxiety and stress which can cloud our once, very close confidence. I also used to be super introverted, I hated college classes in face-to-face fashion because I'd have panic attacks, I'd eat in the cafeteria by myself and leave, and I would thrive on my own. One day it got super boring and I was fed up with myself and my own energy all the time. So, I moved on-campus, I took some face-to-face and some online classes, I also started eating and referred to that as my social time, and then I'd go back to my room. I then got fed up with that life too, so I started planning all face-to-face classes, dining hall time, and then dorm time. It worked for the majority and then I got fed up with that kind of living and planned the next academic semester to have a roommate, all face-to-face classes, dining hall and eating out, and additionally adding more social time to my schedule as the year went on. If you'd like to use this example for maybe going in a place such as a coffee shop, get your coffee, sit down, and once your coffee is gone, leave. If you visit enough or go some places enough, you may be able to start making connections within these public places. If so, make sure your boundaries are clear with these people that you are only willing to hang out with them publicly. If they respect it, then maybe they're a keeper and if they don't, then you know where you stand and it's time to find another drinking coffee buddy. I hope that this helps and apologize if the information is super lengthy. Please feel free to ask me any questions that you may have. I wish the best of luck to you and your process of settling in.

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Reply
[40]
Nov 25

@BlackLily, thank you so much for your comment! It was very encouraging waking up and seeing a positive start to my day. This is the first time I have connected with someone who has also struggled with BED. I think you are right-getting outside and being around other people, even if I don't directly interact with them, makes me feel productive and much happier (especially the endorphins that come with sunshine and a little exercise). It's been overwhelming moving to a new city, especially with my social anxiety, but I think if I force myself out there enough good things will happen. Whenever I lock myself in my apartment I tend to get inside my head and start to have doubts, which is a perfect recipe for binging.

Reply
[2345]
Dec 2

MoMarie, I am so proud o you for recognizing this before it gets out of hand. You will not fail again. You may have tiny hiccups but you will get there again. I am glad I read @BlackLily's comment, because I was going to suggest taking a book and going to a coffee shop. I had to do this when I first moved to a new place (that I really did not like). I met friends that I am still friends with almost 15 years later at the coffee shop. Bookstores are another great place. Just be you! I am here if you want to chat. Big hugs!

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