Hi everyone, I'm not sure about why I joined this group. It'

Hi everyone, I'm not sure about why I joined this group. It's been a while I've been trying to solve my problem alone. At the beginning I didn't even want to consider it exactly a problem, I thought it's just a phase, it won't last. But now it's been too long and I think I cannot help myself alone. I tryed to tell someone but they underestimate what I say, as if it was just something I can control. But the truth is I can't. I eat too much, when I'm not hungry, I just eat and I know it's more than what I really need to eat but I just can't stop. I know it's not normal so I'm always looking for the right moment when I'm alone and I can go buy something to eat, usually sweet things. And I feel ashamed when I go buying them but then when I eat I feel like calm and I enjoy it. But I'm afraid I'm letting myself go, as if it doesn't matter anymore. I don't want that but I need someone to share this with. I just want to do my best to help myself.

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 3
[59555]
Jul 16

Recognizing that you do have an eating challenge is an important step in your recovery because until you acknowledge your problem, you can't move forward. Congratulations for reaching out. It's not surprising that you didn't obtain the support you wanted when you reached out to someone in your life because unless they also have an eating challenge, they're not likely to appreciate what you're experiencing. So glad you checked into this site. Lots of great info and much needed support can be gained here. Please continue posting. Hugs!

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[230]
Jul 16

Thank you for your reply! I struggled with eating disorders when I was younger, I lost too much weight but I managed to recover. I don't know how it all started, I don't know the reasons, but since then food has always had and still has an important part in my life. I don't understand why, it's just as if it's always there, when I'm happy I eat to celebrate, when I'm sad to comfort myself, but also when I watch a movie, when I study or simply when I've nothing to do. I don't want to be annoying but I feel I have to talk about this. I'm constantly on diets for couple of weeks and then I start binge eating again and I say to myself: until the next diet. Now I feel I don't want to lose weight, I just want food to have the right, measured part in my life.

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[59555]
Jul 16

@annie1313 Your "healthy self" seems to be in charge with your last post. By that, I mean you've gone past your need to loose weight in favor learning to eat in a healthful way. Bravo to you! Would you do me and yourself a big favor? On a piece of paper or in your food journal if you maintain one, write a list of ideas of why you want to learn to eat for a better life/better health. Then write down all the reasons that continuing with your present eating habits. For instance, albeit a self destructive habit, your eating disorder must be doing something for you. Is it a way to deal with your boredom, to deal with other negative emotions such as anxiety, sadness, loneliness or ??? I think completing these two lists will help you to identify some specific challenges that attend your eating disorder and to help you focus on the direction needed to move you towards your recovery.

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