Well... Yesterday I jumped off the cliff! I binged. I ha

Jdavis5933's picture
[13360]

Well... Yesterday I jumped off the cliff! I binged.

I had an exhausting hour-long conversation with the cable company that is stealing money for me. My 3rd attempt at trying to get them to stop billing me for cable that I canceled two months ago. The whole thing sent me into a full-blown tantrum. I can't afford this. They're stealing my money and I can't get them to cancel this cable. I was drained. I was sucked out of my peaceful Center. Then I made a conscious choice to binge. I just didn't want to feel anything else anymore. I said F*ck it. I went in.

Afterwards, I knew that I could throw up and get rid of it but I also knew that wouldn't solve the problem. So I sat with it. I sat with the pain all night so that I could remember why I don't do it anymore. And it's not worth it... no matter what. My stomach felt nothing but pain for 12 hours straight.

So now I have to take my own advice and Shake It Off. I'm going to get some good sleep tonight and tomorrow's a brand new day. I know that I will not be doing that again. That's the only reason I didn't throw up. Because I knew if I did throw up that it would happen again. If I had to sit in the pain for 12 hours, I'd get it through my head, this is never an option.

For me, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what I eat, as long as I don't eat too much. I like to get nutrients in and I don't like to deny myself anything. It's always portion control that matters most. For example, I love to have ice cream in my coffee. And when I do, I portion it out so that it's one serving. Some people will say they can't control how much they eat of certain foods, so they don't eat them at all. For me, that only happens if I try to deny myself. As soon as you tell your brain you can't have something , what happens? That's all you think about. So you're torturing yourself unnecessarily. And then again I don't have food addiction so I can't say that I understand that aspect of it. Food does not have that much power over me. My true addiction is only alcohol. My problem is that I have extra fat that i gained over a short time when I used it to numb myself (and when I quit smoking and adderall) and now I have to get rid of it and the only way to do that is to cut portions down really small. Then, that ends up causing binges because eventually i just want to eat Until I'm full. But ... I have been doing so good with the mindset of creating new habits that are good for me . That's all I can deal with now. I'm just climbing back up the ladder. Cheers! To being Human

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[170]
Dec 6

Hello:) my name is Sarah and I have been a health and fitness coach now for over 5 years. It is my passion to help others lose weight with 80% nutrition and 20% fitness, while making both aspects simple to follow and effective for long term results. If you are interested in getting help, please send me a text message or give me a call to learn more :) Weight loss can happen for you when you have someone there to help you along the way.

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[150]
Dec 8

I know the feeling well!

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Jdavis5933's picture
[13360]
Dec 8

@help62 sorry about the rant on your post. That is not how things normally go on here. I also was looking at how my insulin was working along with all My other hormones.

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