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I spent a while composing yet another lengthy, emotional pos

TL;DR I'm not sure if my codependent, crazy, needy family has manipulated me or if David is really as bad as everyone says.

I spent a while composing yet another lengthy, emotional post. But somehow I deleted it.
David e-mailed me. He was so sad. I was supposed to call him today, but I didn't.
I really don't know what the f*ck to do.
I love him. I need him. I want him.
One minute he's the evil abuser. The next he's a kind, caring soul who loves me and wants to be with me. I refused to believe that we'll never have coffee and words again. What did you dream times. Delicious foreign dinners. I love to lay my head on him. I miss that. I miss everything. Nothing is right. It's like, this world is the Matrix. Or maybe Inception. This isn't the real world. I just want to make oatmeal and cuddle the kitties. And I want him in the next room. Just there. I swear I'd change. I'd learn to shut the f*ck up. To not be needy and clingy.

One minute, he is the enemy.
Then, he is my everything.
I can't keep stringing him along. I'm not stringing, but if I have to leave, it is unfair of me to be one foot in. I don't want to let him go, but everyone I interact with is screaming that at me. "Forget him. Move on."

Million Dollar Question: Do I uproot myself; from my home and family, to follow David to GA? Where we will live in separate houses, but be able to see each other, talk to each other. Have each other again. And maybe I need their help. I'm grown and I've always wanted happily ever after. But that's impossible when Prince Charming is in the other castle.

It's like everyone is inside my head. And it's a game of who can scream the loudest and the longest. (It's always been like that) Everyone is pressuring me. I am impressionable. I don't know where I start and they end. My family is a bunch of manipulative, power grabbing bullies. They are.. codependent and want to foster that in me. My need.

I will never truly know who I am until I am away from them.
My dad has encouraged me to leave them and their problems for over ten years.
Now they've taken David..

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[405]
Apr 15

I don't have the full story here, but the key part I noticed is "evil abuser". so this is where it comes down to it.... if you KNOW he is an abuser as he has done it to you. then I am sorry but you would be stupid to stay with him. if the 'abuse' is rumours and hearsay from friends/ family, then you really need to decide who to believe before anything else.
But from the way it read he 'is' an abuser (forgive me if I am wrong) and if that is the case then I will tell you what I tell everyone in these relationships..... why the hell are you still with him?!?!? I'm sorry to be blunt but there are guys out there that treat women like goddesses, and yet I am constantly hearing women who 'choose' to stay in abusive relationships, not because they have to, but because they 'love him'. I am sorry if I am sounding harse, but that is not love! Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that he never loved you, but as soon as he starts abusing you he sees you as nothing more than HIS property. and to someone like me..... that is beyond disgusting. by all means move out on your own if you have the means..... but you move with him away from everyone, you will be playing right into his hands.

PS. on a side note i am really curious as to a womans mindset when they stay with an abuser, i don't mean that in the nasty way. for me it is the same as not knowing how you can completly 'forget' something due to a concussuion. i never understood how that was possible until it happened to me. Same with women and abusive men. when someone treats you like trash my response is get as far away as possible, not continue to love them when they speak sweet words. so please if anyone can help me understand this I would be grateful, because it has me very confused

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