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If I get my ("1-5-100") job back. My routine is going to be

Error101's picture
[87865]

If I get my ("1-5-100") job back. My routine is going to be
[4:30AM] Wake Up
[5:00AM] Bike to YMCA
[5:30AM] YMCA swimming
[6:00AM] bike to Work
[6:15AM] Arrive at work
[6:30AM] Depart
[7:00AM] Route 1 Start
[??:??AM] Break "Arizona"
[11:00AM] Route 1 End
[??:??PM] Break "Arizona" o "Chipotle" o "convenient"
[11:00AM] Route 2 Start
[2:45PM-3:15PM] Route 2 End
[Happy Ending] Bike to YMCA.
[YMCA] 1-2 hours "MAX"
[To Home] 4-5pm-4:30-5:30PM ESTIMATE
[Home by] 5PM-6:30PM

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Error101's picture
[87865]
May 15

@norseduncan I did, and it didn't work out. This is my reality. I knew it was going to happen at some point. I didn't know when. Now it's time

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norseduncan's picture
[156925]
May 15

@Error101 weren't you moving back to jersey?

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Error101's picture
[87865]
May 15

No, I am going to stay but I am running away by the end of the month. I don't want to live a lie by pretending if I go back to new Jersey it's going to make a difference yet. My hopes are to pack my things and live on the streets where I live and get a job anywhere so I can bike ride to places. That is why I moved. It's what I wanted to do. But i have a language, communication, and Grammer issue. Sometimes, I may say or do something that people who don't know me and judge me. I always felt bad because of who I am. I wrote at a job "self harm" and "suicide". I use self harm to remind myself never to do it again. As for "suicide, I wrote in a tablet asking myself "what is this job to me?". It was suicide meaning, it's stressful pretending to be someone else that you are not being watched by everyone. I wanted to warn one person at my first job about Stephen paddock. I get these "predictions" ("a word I recently learned") that if I excessively do something I can see things. I predicted four events before it happened. But I never told anyone. But I wanted to and I held it in. Because I didn't want to get arrested for something and I don't know how to express my thoughts exactly. People look at me and say, "your normal" I am but I always felt "less than". I was diagnosed with "autism" in 2009. I felt like this was me I always had knew. But the saddest day was Adam lanza because I wish I could be there to help him even if I had issues with expressing my mind. I worked with a person. He was talking about mass shooting. I talked him out of it because I told him he was a great person. He didn't want to hurt me or anyone. But he felt bullied by my manager. He would show up for an hour a week. He also was clearly depressed. All I could think of was myself. People are evil. Not all, but i learned from society. I just want to be alone.

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