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I actually cannot take it anymore. My family are not making

[4565]

I actually cannot take it anymore. My family are not making it helpful living with anxiety and depression and One sibling in particular makes it unbearable for me. Constantly moody and if I ever question it or something she has a go at me. If I don't agree with her on something she will go out of her way to try and change my mind or say that I am the one being angry or accuse me of shouting at her. A lot of people in my family have pointed out that she is rude and disrespectful. I don't want to live with her anymore. She will come to me for advice or when she's feeling really down, and if I give her practical advice she doesn't want to follow it. I am trying to be healthy eater and train hard, even this she makes me feel really down for. She says I am not enjoying life. She also undermines my decisions, I work with kids and even that she seems to think she knows more than me. I don't want to live with her. I know its bad to say but I feel like I need a break from her, she doesn't give me a chance to breathe. If I have mastered up some courage to actually leave the house and meet a friend she either makes me feel bad or invites herself to come along. Half of the time I can't even work on my fitness because she makes me feel bad or tells me to help her with something first. Fitness is one thing that helps me control my mood, for a month I haven't prioritised that. I have dedicate work station and even that space she won't give me my own. I am trying to make a life for myself and she is stopping me. When I was with my ex boyfriend, part of the reason it didn't work out is because she would make me feel guilty for having a boyfriend and then I would continuously make excuses about why we couldn't meet up or ask my ex boyfriend to invite her as well. She also makes bad choices and tells me to help her not make them and when I do she gets angry with me. When I have told her how bad things get for me she's sympathetic but also manages to make it about herself. If I confront her she somehow makes it out that its all my fault, often accusing of losing it with her or shouting. I have tried making some changes to my life and even that she gives very unhelpful comments that make me feel down; often things like 'well you don't want to try too much, you may not be able to cope' and when I tell her I am ready to try she will still say something like, 'I get that, but its going to be a lot for you.' I then insist and tell her its making me feel a bit put down and she shouts saying, 'well you should understand then why I am saying that or why others would worry.' People worry about me fair enough, but does that mean I shouldn't bother trying?? I don't feel like I can work on my recovery when she is here. Even if I have some work tasks to do, she constantly somehow doesn't let me get on with it, because I have to help her with something first or that my work cannot possibly compete with the challenges she faces with her work. Like its basically not important. I am crying everyday because of this and can't do this anymore. What shall I do?

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[255]
Nov 9

I don't know if my opinion is a little far fetched but she seems to be manipulating you and trying to change your decisions into something that benefits herself. Even though we sometimes care a lot about the toxic people in our lives and cannot simply stop interacting with them, it's essential to decide your boundaries. There are certain aspects of your life where no one else is allowed to intrude. Just like you summarized the events for people on this forum, explain this to her. Be gentle and considerate. But you don't have to try so hard that it makes you lose your composure. If she doesn't seem to budge from her normal opinions and chooses to remain stubborn, just remind yourself that she is the one in the wrong and shut her out. It can be temporary but it will make her realize that you cannot be manipulated anymore. Even if it is hard, try not to succumb to her demands. Soon, you won't have to convince her and she will learn her boundaries. And most importantly, according to what you have said, most people here will tell you that you are NOT the one who's wrong. You need to believe this genuinely.
I hope things work out between the both of you. But in case it doesn't, I hope you find a better life for yourself away from her. All the best! :)

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[4565]
Nov 10

@confusedcat Thank you for your response. I don't know what is going on, all I know is that it becoming exhausting. I am going to try shutting some stuff out so she realises that I am serious about trying to recover. I just need to remind myself that its not about me.

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[970]
Nov 10

Music helps

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