Does anyone else overthink everything? For example, any time

Does anyone else overthink everything? For example, any time I have interactions with people, when I get home I replay everything in my head. Then I start hating myself because I feel like I didn't say the right things, I should have said something different, I'm an idiot because of it, and then self loathing. I assume this is caused by my anxiety?

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Aug 12, 2022

@Littlesis7 The first thing that comes to mind, I have a huge fear of my friends finding out I have bipolar and am on Disability. I do have a lot of shame with that. I guess you nailed it. I feel incredibly dysfunctional compared to how successful they are... and my bipolar and anxiety are real big challenges for me. I always feel different, being out in the world is difficult with anxiety, although I do it when needed. The only time I don't have anxiety is when I get to stay home all day. I'm a mess in my head. I don't let it show to my friends though. I feel bad not being honest, but for me it's a dark secret. I've exaggerated my income in a few ways to cover for myself. Yeah, a lot of shame.

Littlesis7's picture
Aug 13, 2022

@afunk I am glad you replied. You're not alone I constantly compare myself w my peers...
a lot of 'woulda -coulda -shoulda and looking to the past which then jumps me to the future -usually I view it as fantasy as in; 'by this time next month, I won't have to deal w this anymore bc I would've taken care of it by then...really well' -I mean both extremes are wrong. I have real issue with facing the
present -here and living in the NOW...making real decisions that are going to cause some kind of recovery.
Sorry you are dealing with bipolar, disability and the way hiding it makes you feel. When you're ready you'll be able to come to terms with what is happening. The bipolar is only 'one' part of you, not ALL of you.
I always think my 'friends' don't have anything nearly as hard to cope with as me but as you live long enough you find out that they really DID have issues, they just might have been a lot better at 'hiding' it than you?
For me, it's actually about ultra- sensitivity...not saying I've figured out why I let myself constantly compare my life but lately I've been taking a step to just focus on getting thru what problems I can change and letting the rest gooooo....

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andine's picture
Aug 13, 2022

@afunk: sorry you feel shame. Of course we shouldn't but our society is often extremely judgemental. It's ok to protect yourself in every way that you can. Your personal business is just that, no one needs to know unless it's your Dr....


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