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Hi there, i wanted to understand why my brain acts aggressiv

Hi there, i wanted to understand why my brain acts aggressive towards everything ?,most of the time I feel stuck in a circle of thoughts & they destroy me even more , I tried a lot to accept & let go but this never works for along time , I went to a therapist & they did a CBT session with me & gave medications to help me to stay calm, I felt that I might have hope to survive,, but after that things became worse , & I turned even more aggressive towards myself & I tried to end my life many times ,, I don't know what to say to my family & friends , I can't understand life & I can't even understand my self Hi there, i wanted to understand why my brain acts aggressive towards everything ?,most of the time I feel stuck in a circle of thoughts & they destroy me even more , I tried a lot to accept & let go but this never works for along time , I went to a therapist & they did a CBT session with me & gave medications to help me to stay calm, I felt that I might have hope to survive,, but after that things became worse , & I turned even more aggressive towards myself & I tried to end my life many times ,, I don't know what to say to my family & friends , I can't understand life & I can't understand myself, I really wish that if I wasn't exist so that I won't suffer more,, my anxious personality makes the situation even worse , two years ago I discovered my passion in music & I started to give my all focus on it , it's the only thing that I live for now , I don't know but I just feel that it's the only thing that can make me happy ,,,, after spending more time on this path I realized that my only way to live is to continue making art,,, but my family wants me to continue studying ,,,
studying is one of the things that caused me anxiety , I just hate it I don't know but I don't see it suitable for me ,, at the same time I can't get rid of it because of the finance ,but I still have hope that I might have a chance to make it into the music industry so that I can change my life for what I want ,, but if I wasn't able to do the most thing I loved , I don't have a reason to stay & I don't have any will to find a passion in something else

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LightShadow's picture
[2690]
Jan 13

Don't quote me to the T's. But...

#1. Looping in circles can be a good thing. As long as you don't get
A. Further depression
B. Suicidal
C. Headaches !!!
D. Don't dwell on past
E. Don't read things that get into tour head and make you suicidal.

#2. Your mindset continues with the loop, then it's good.
A. Stay positive
B. Learn to stay positive

You will see the benefits of it later on. You will regain your life back. It's a lonnngggggg process.

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[4510]
Jan 14

Life is a journey and understanding comes over time, life experiences and choices we make. It's great that you find your passion, music. Continue to pursue your passion , love yourself and be kind to yourself so you can make beautiful music the world can enjoy.

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