I'm feeling very overwhelmed and could use some advice on ho

I'm feeling very overwhelmed and could use some advice on how to pull it all back together because everything I have tried is not helping!
I work retail and as a manager this time of year is expectedly triple the workload and longer work days. In the past I have powered through and thrived on the energy of the holiday season and enjoyed home life equally, but this year I'm a new mother of a beautiful baby girl and living with her father, my boyfriend. Our relationship has been **** since I found out I was preg. We barely speak and have the weekly blowup fight routine down pat. How in the world do working moms keep it all together so well ? I feel like I'm spiralling and cant keep a straight thought, I'm missing deadlines and critical work stuff, the long hours at work are causing me to miss irreplaceable time with my daughter and the added stress of my relationship makes it feel like I have no one to go to I feel like I am drowning daily.

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LadyO's picture
Nov 8

I would feel overwhelmed too if it were me in your situation. My personality type is not the best when it comes to staying calm in the middle of multitasking like this. I watch how other people juggle around numerous responsibilities with such ease and wish I could do that!

You take your work and your homelife seriously and that is how it should be. Nothing worthwhile comes free, and I can tell just how much you desire to make things peaceful and keep it that way.

If I had the chance, we could sit down and walk through the scenarios of your job, your family, and your personal life. Those are three huge compartments. Maybe there are options you haven't thought of.

I know your job is not your top priority of course, but the one you feel the most handcuffed to - as if you feel thrown onto a treadmill and going nowhere. Try to consciously slow your mind down and repeatedly tell yourself you can only do so much. I have to do that very same thing at my job. The world is not going to end just because something had to wait five minutes longer than it normally does.

You do not have to stay with your boyfriend just because he is the father. That has become an added burden to the heaviness you already carry. What are your options for that? Even if temporarily?

I feel your anxiety about how this affects your newborn. Babies detect stress and I know that is something you do not want for your little girl.

Is there any way you can set up a time to speak with someone about this? It should be the boyfriend that needs to step up and take initiative to help balance all this. But if he is not the one who will listen. you need to lean on someone who wants to hold you up.

Maybe it will be a counselor at a church, an older woman you look up to and trust, a moms group, or other support group. Reaching a breaking point is a good indicator that a change needs to be made, and you deserve to know someone has your back.

I wish there were more time and space for us to talk, but I sure hope and pray you can take the next step and find someone to be there for you in your time of need.

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Nov 10

@LadyO I really do need someone to talk to, especially to help me sort through if I do have an opportunity to separate from him and coping with that because I feel like I have failed at making such an important connection work him. I do my best to keep my focus off of our issues and him just to keep moving along but those days when everything blows up is when it is just too much and it always seems to happen when I'm exhausted to the point I'm begging for his help with necessities ie. groceries, cleanup, dinner and baby duties when I work late, etc.. but he would rather give me the silent treatment or start an arguement just to put it off until I have a day off where I have to spend the entire day catching up. I dont have any friends outside of work associates and family.

Nov 13

That is so hard!! You are in a tough situation. Give yourself a bit of a break. You are doing your best. I find if I have too much to do making lists helps and it’s so satisfying to cross things of. I will put obvious things like eat lunch on my list because it’s necessary but also gets missed!!


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