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When I get into relationships, I totally lose myself which i

Yankeegirl71's picture
[6310]

When I get into relationships, I totally lose myself which is bad. When I was first with my bf I was calm. He was the one who said he wanted to see ME more often. I’ve gotten more and more worried and he’s literally only set up one time since we been together and the rest has been me. As a result, I’ve noticed his enthusiasm drop. He didn’t see me this weekend either. I’m thinking I made a mistake by not letting him be the one to pursue the dates and made him feel emasculated. I think I need to get a **** grip, do my own thing and if he really wants to see me he will ask. If he doesn’t, then we need to have a conversation about the relationship and what we should do. I know that men don’t like it when their gf doesn’t have their own life and just become too codependent on them for happiness.

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Yankeegirl71's picture
[6310]
Dec 6

I tried talking to him but seems he just tells me what I want to hear instead of the truth. I had to break up. No communication. 90% of the time he doesn’t answer my call. Red flag in my book

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[1590]
Dec 6

It could be a lot of things... I don't know him. Your first post above shows you have very good insight! Some men like to chase. If we are too available or interested in them... Some men aren't ready to have a real relationship. Sounds like he had a bit of both. I haven't even heard this but Ariana Grande has a new song--thank you, next -/ which has been my philosophy...lol.
Learn about yourself from this relationship--you will know more about who you are and the kind of man you are looking for! (The highlights of my criteria, for ex.: No married men. No men with drug/alcohol probs. No men with mother issues.. Must love kids and dogs. Have good sense of humor). Abuse of any kind is an obvious "NO" and doesn't need to be on the list cause I won't let anyone abuse me.

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Yankeegirl71's picture
[6310]
Dec 6

Now this guy wants us to give it a few days to cool off and restart. Why would I even want to do that? What is he bringing to the table and to my life? What do you have to even offer me that would make me consider restarting our relationship? He is so focused on everything else, so why would I want to play second fiddle to someone who isn’t all that. If he thinks he can do better, go for it. See how much greener the grass ISNT on the other side. Now I’m paying for his exes abusive behavior. Apparently too many text messages are considered abusive now

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