Hello, this is my first post here, I'm new to this site but

Hello, this is my first post here, I'm new to this site but already have seen such kindness and understanding from all the people here. It's a little overwhelming, to feel able to express my feelings without the fear of being judged.

I have been reading and finding out as much as I can about BPD for about six months now, which isn't very long I know. However, I have felt this way for as long as I can remember and it continues to get worse, and the more I have read and learnt about BPD, the more it makes sense to me.
I am currently in therapy, although it has only been for a couple of months now, and I have previously had counselling before. I also suffer from anxiety and I have been experiencing all sorts of extreme panic attacks very frequently, physical problems such as extreme sweating, shortness of breath, a dull pain in my chest during these moments and an overall increasing sense of unstable moods and feelings (extreme anger and extreme fondness). And so so much more...
I have been prescribed Propranolol, and wondered if anybody has tried this and what it was like for them? I have only been taking it for a week or so, so again, very early days in the process.
There is so much happening, it really is taking control of my life and having an effect on my relationships with everybody.
I am unsure really of what to do next and how to continue finding out as much as I can about BPD and a reason as to the way I feel. I feel a little hesitant to bring this up in my therapy sessions, as I feel a strong fear of seeming like I am diagnosing myself, without having real knowledge. (Again, the anxiety) and just general rejection or the unknown. However, I really do want to understand more and seek some sort of help, I feel extremely lonely all of the time, and I just want help.
I would appreciate anybody taking the time to read this and to reply to me, and I very much look forward to hopefully starting a journey of finally understanding myself and who I am and why.
Thank you! :)

Jane xx

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JaneSmith1's picture
[60]
Feb 17

@MsRobot I have been reading about misdiagnoses and how difficult it is to become diagnosed, and correctly. I think it confirms fear inside of me, and then I over think and will talk myself out of investigating further. However, coming onto this site and reading some peoples journeys and lives, it has given me a boost and a supporting hand to go and find out what is going on with me. I'm an extremely shy and nervous person, so having the courage to say this in my next therapy session will be hard, I don't want to look stupid!! Thank you for your words and kindness, I have therapy on Tuesdays, so will gear myself up until then! :D :D

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norseduncan's picture
[75220]
Feb 17

@JaneSmith1 a technique you might try is to find what works and write it down, and keep that handy, so that when your focus is scattered you have a reference to work with. also, when the anxiety strikes, watch your posture. the other thing anxiety does is make us slump, as if trying to draw into ourselves, and straightening up works to counteract that.

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azmommykas's picture
[1545]
Feb 17

I have BPD, C-PTSD, and extreme panic. I take Propranolol as needed (along with Lexapro) and have found that it really does help for the physical symptoms of anxiety ( shaking, sweating, racing heartbeat, etc.)

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