I'm on the second day back from hospital. I had a surgery. T

I'm on the second day back from hospital. I had a surgery. They cut my abdomen after pumping it with gas to take out my right ovary...which was dead... Doc said it was caused by a cyst that was double, almost triple the size of my ovary. He thinks its caused by skipping more than two days on the pill. He says that if you skip three or more days then you have to wait for your normal cycle to come back and then go on the pill again. I've never heard that before.

I dont know what to think really.
I dont know what to feel.

I keep wondering how long that cyst had been developing and if this one was really caused by skipping pills. I've heard of women getting cysts easily when on the pill but it usually doesnt result in this.
Otherwise cysts are normal.

I wonder if I'll develop any cysts in the future and whether itll be natural or due to something like the pill.

I didnt know how to react when doc first told me the news. I guess it didnt help that he wasnt sympathetic but I was probably his fifth case that week or something. Maybe it did help cause I didnt cry then.
It didnt really hit me much.

I'm not worried about fertility or having kids in the future. It's not about that.

I just dont know...
I'm pretty young to be losing organs.
I'm pretty healthy otherwise.
Not overweight the slightest, dont drink, don't smoke, never have either. Dont vape. Dont do drugs. Never have any of those. Hypertension runs in my family strongly on the females side and theres hints here and there that it's a bit high but nothing over the alarming or 'need medication' point. I'm a blood donor, I try to do it as often as they allow me. People say I'm mentally strong.
Come from an alcoholic family with an alcoholic mother who has breast cancer to date.

I'm not saying bad things like this shouldnt happen.

I'm just lost for words.

I guess I cant handle if it was really only my fault alone. Such silly actions can have such... bad consequences.
And I didnt want to stay on the pill to begin with... guess nows a good reason to quit.

Theres other methods of contraception I know. I'm not worried about that, I'm barely sexually active and even whenever I might be there are other options. That's not eating me.

I guess it's just a lot to swallow.

It all happened quickly. One day I felt immense pain and it didnt go away even after some other doctor gave me a drip with pain meds.
I guess my mind wanders... thinking if that doctor had just done his job properly... sent me for scans instead of home and all the rest maybe they could've saved it.
See the pain was when the ovary twisted on its side or somehow fell over cause it was roo heavy from the cyst and ended up blocking it's own blood flow... so killing itself.

But I dont let my mind wonder there. I dont like the "what ifs" because that just makes a person depressed. So that's the last I'll say of any "what ifs".

Guess I'm still processing it. And obviously still healing from surgery. I have more neutral thoughts than negative ones in my head.
But I believe you shouldn't suffocate your bad thoughts...or let them suffocate you. That makes it worse. I believe you should acknowledge them then deal with them or let them go. Then only focus on the positives. In my case its neutrals.
It happened.
Nothing will undo it.
I know that.
I'm not wishing something would.

I guess I didnt have anyone to talk to and I didnt know what to say when it was all happening so now it's coming out like this. As long as it comes out.
I'll live. I'll be okay.
I guess I just needed to get it out to someone who would listen and get a bit of comfort or support.

Funny with my family. They dont really give you comfort. Most of em give you support in the form of asking you how you're doing and if you need something. I dont really want any of them to talk to me about it. I...
I just need a hug and some kind words.
I mean I just lost an organ and I'm barely into the second decade of my life and said no to everything else that affects your organs negatively (except the pill of course).
This also isnt some rampage about how the pill is dangerous.
I've been wanting to get off it for a while. This is a good solid con against the pros, if the other cons aren't good enough. I just think more warning and education needs to be given about the possible side effects of any hormonal drugs, just like all drugs should get. Otherwise I think its solely an individual decision.
What happened to me might never happen to you or your daughters. Just be careful.
And if the cyst was due to the pill. Then just be careful out there people.
And can someone please give me a hug and some nice words...

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Griz75's picture
May 12

Big hug for you

May 13

@RedButterfly You have a lot going for you. You're able to process events that happen and you can look at both sides of it. And you can put things in there proper perspective. That's what helps you to move through something and at the same time minimize your stress. They are great life skills and will serve you well as you get older.

As long as you stay positive you'll recover nicely. Stay strong. I'm sending you a big hug.

May 15

Thank you both. Especially @kgmaxwell for your encouraging words. Sometimes you just need to hear some. Thank you.


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