Has anyone ever gone through existential crisis OCD? The th

Has anyone ever gone through existential crisis OCD?
The thoughts I experience are kinda like my HOCD. Like, due to the whole COVID jig, I opted for a correspondence course. I am doing a master's in child psychology. So obviously, there's no deadline and I don't study really. I don't have any concrete goals in my life. I have a boyfriend and he keeps me really happy. But I have come to realise that happiness is from within. Of course, talking to him makes me happy. But then I often wonder that what is there to look forward to in life? I'll get married, kids, my husband will be successful, we'll have a great life and stuff. So this is stuff I tell myself.
Then out of the blue, I start having thoughts like what is there to look forward to in life? Okay, I have a boyfriend so what? Like, suddenly life has come to a standstill. And then the thoughts strike and they scare the **** out of me. The thoughts are like you wanna kill yourself, commit suicide because there's nothing to look forward to and stuff like that. And then when I think I'll beat this, I get thoughts like for what? What is there to look forward to in life, which scares me even more? Like what is this? Have any of you ever gone through this? Do I just need to have short term goals or something like that? How do I resolve this? My thoughts scare me.
Apparently I did some research and have come across something called as E-OCD and Suicidal OCD. Oh my God, it makes sense now. Has anyone else gone through this? How do I overcome this?

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Foundlove's picture
(34950)
Jan 15

@Healingmyselfeveryday yes definitely one day at time n someone told me once remember to be kind to yourself n take it easy too, not so judgmental n harsh. I feel like the worst enemy is ourselves sometimes. Hope you doing much better today

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(60)
Jan 15

Of course. @Healingmyselfeveryday

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(126790)
14 hours ago

@Healingmyselfeveryday
Treat yourself to a warm cup of tea or chocolate.

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