Afraid of what's on the other side of self improvement. Work

Hopeful_100's picture
[5805]

Afraid of what's on the other side of self improvement. Working up the certainty to block the abusive guy knowing I won't doubt my decision. I'll give myself a few days to grieve and start working on my inner wounds from way back. I'm afraid of journeying on away from the familiar I see healthy people and don't connect with them their energy is like winter snow to me. biggest reason being the superficial conversations I overhear about their shoe size, or the brand of their purse. I don't like imagining myself as one of them. I feel engulfed by them, invalidated, looked down on. I fear my healthy self will cannibalize my real self like I will be a fake empty person when I get there.

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Hopeful_100's picture
[5805]
Nov 15

@Ducktape great idea. reaching out more to the quite people might be one way. There may be some hidden gems around :D but right now I'm not really involved in society due to financial stress and chronic fatigue so this site is my socialization for now.

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[88985]
Nov 15

@Hopeful_100 I don't think real people are that hard to find, but I guess it may depend on those you surround yourself with. I think there are many real people on this site. Since SG is a safe place to reach out, and reveal one's true thoughts and feelings, without receiving shaming or judgment -- there isn't a need to wear a mask, or hide behind a fake persona. The supportive environment is more conducive to being your real self.....

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Hopeful_100's picture
[5805]
Nov 16

@pickone ive noticed that about SG too it's been of excellent help to me! where I live I cannot find people like this in real life. I've tried a wide range of crowds and activities. The churches I've been to people are controlling and invalidating, the bars I've been to people are judgemental of what one wears and how one talks. I don't go on dates to occupy myself lol since I'm not ready for a relationship and not part of hook up culture. When I get a job I wind up surrounded by shallow people or super toxic people. I've had one good therapist. So for now I'm just talking to people here and focusing on work and some hobbies

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