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Rather Gloomy Northguy Ramble, some passive wishing for deat

Northguy's picture

Rather Gloomy Northguy Ramble, some passive wishing for death, don't read if that'll bother you

Just not doing too great today. I've been sleeping poorly all week (I think I need to return this (quite new) mattress. Fortunately I got one with a 100 day trial period. Huzzah for pessimism being useful sometimes). So I think as a result of that, depression has sort of been hovering around me this week. I've managed to keep it at bay well enough until this afternoon at which point I pretty well much fell down the ol'doomandgloom hole. Just the standard stuff really. I feel weak and life feels scary. I don't really want to live either, its basically just a sense of obligation and the typical fear of pain/death/anything that might come after that keeps me going. So yeah, despite nothing actively going wrong for me today, I'm feeling rather down and trapped. This will of course pass as it has many, many times before and I'll be here to grouch about things for years to come. But it is certainly no fun. I wish I had more to say, but honestly its been a boring time lately and there's nothing really to keep blabbing about. Anyhow I'm off to try and distract myself and see if I can get out of the hole my mood's fallen into today.

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Jimdub's picture
Dec 8

I'm sorry you are going through this, is there anyone you can talk too? a friend, a sibling or your church pastor? If you find yourself in crisis please call 911 or National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255, there is also a Crisis Text Line at 741741 that a professional will get right back to you.
Do you have a professional counselor you see? if not here is a number for a place that can offer free counseling advise and even refer you to professionals in your area 1-855-382-5433. Also here are some resources on depression, I hope they help Prayers my friend.

Dec 10

I agree with the Reply above. Seeking counseling is the best thing you can do. Life can get better - one day at a time. Having people to talk to really helps. Prayers for good things to come your way!

Dec 12

I relate to how you feel about life matters


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