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My anxiety and depression has made it extremely difficult to

My anxiety and depression has made it extremely difficult to go through school and hold a job. I haven't gone back to school yet because of it. I have a great job and I'm so thankful for it but I feel like I'm not going to handle it gracefully. I've had several panic attacks and mental breakdowns at work. I go to my car and cry it out. Started smoking in an attempt to calm down quickly. Dumb I know, but I was desperate for a solution. I feel like this is the best job for me at my current level of education. I couldn't get anything better than this without a degree. I had a panic attack in front of my boss and he let me work in the back room away from everyone. It was a massive help and I've become accustomed to it. Found out today it wasnt meant to be permanent. I dont know how I'm going to handle this job now. I hate that it takes so little to completely mess me up. I've considered filing for disability before but I dont want to. I've even been told that I should, but I really dont want to. I feel pathetic. I want to be able to hold a job without having to take cry breaks. Feeling really weak and hopeless.

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 3
[1090]
Mar 26

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time. Try not to be too hard on yourself for how you’re doing with work or school :)

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[2605]
Mar 26

I’m so sorry you are going through this.
May God’s peace and comfort be upon you.

Please be gentle on yourself. Take one day at a time.
I hope things will go well in your job. Please keep us posted.

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justamomof2's picture
[3815]
Mar 28

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all this. Filing for disability is nothing to be ashamed-I hope you will consider doing it-it will take a long time anyway, so it couldn't hurt to try, could it? I'm sure you've considered therapy-if that's not for you, have you thought about keeping a journal? Writing down all your feelings and emotions could help you sort out and organize what's going on. Keeping a wish/dream journal might also be helpful-could give you an opportunity to put some happy things in your future. Please keep us posted on how you're doing.

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