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 broke down and called my ex tonight and it didnt go as pla

 broke down and called my ex tonight and it didnt go as planned this month would have been our 3 year anniversary and I lost my soul mate all because of my own issues all my anger went towards him. I made him become a person who is not. We've been off before and I start to do things to improve myself and once we get back together i stop doing those things. He at the point where he doesnt believe anything that I say. I'm not a bad person i just have alot of issues that i never delt with completely I dont blame him, but I l know i can be me again i just wish he wouldnt give up me but I don't blame him. I cant give up because I love him so much and he means the world to me when I showed him different

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[630]
Sep 13

@Littleturtle1000
Hello, yes I made an appointment with a local church that had affordable prices for counselors. I do and im happy to be making the right steps on getting better we had talk and he understood that for the time being I need to fix myself. One doesnt give on the one they love and I'm grateful to have him in my life. Everyone deserves to be happy and in a good places not everyone's situation is the same. And I feel coming on here I see different views on things and things I can relate to. Change is possible

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[2945]
Sep 13

@Freej that's right change is possible more times than not. I've had my share of problems or issues with myself. I had to get help many times before. I have anxiety and a mood disorder so i have to take an antidepressant. I don't know what all issues you have but i can tell you it helps a lot to take care of yourself such as the right amount of sleep, eat at meal times and get some kind of exercise everyday you can whatever you are able to do. Walking is a good one if you don't have health limitations keeping you from it. Focus on taking good care of yourself ok.

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[630]
Sep 13

Thank you! But I suffer from depression, anxiety, and I have been diagnosed but I'm pretty sure bipolar. I've suffered from all this since a little kid and for years and years all the problems I've gone through I held in and never laid them to rest carrying all that weight one me this whole time destroyed me. I look back and I see I was destroying myself. I have this bad habit of where I let my mind wonder and I make up these stories in my head and believe them. Something as little as so one being late sends me off the edge but like a normal person. I look at every detail and I sit there and pick at everything possible I was worried and focused on everyone else but myself and seeing what i had become i know i have alot anger inside of but what does that do for me nothing. Sometimes one has to sit back and just look at everything and be like did I really have to pick a fight about that. I was always this person that was angry at the world and wanted to be known as the person who didnt care and that's not me. Im very shy and quite and dont like to be taken out of my comfort zone. I mean I cant even look at the waiter when he or she is taking my order lol. I know who I am and this person I've become is not me.

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