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I've typed this out and deleted it 3 times today. I don't wa

MoonChildRaine's picture
[4665]

I've typed this out and deleted it 3 times today. I don't wanna f**k anyone else up but, for the first time in years I truly wanna die. For the first time in 10 years I actually looked up how much valium it would takw to kill me. Don't worry, I don't have enough to do that. But I'm so f***ed right now I don't knkw what else to do. My mom and doctors want me on meds, my husband thinks I'm fine with the valium. I'm not fine. In not fine at all. Everyone in my life knows I have these issues, ive been suicidal and in treatment since I was 7. But moma getting fed up with me, husband stormed out of the house this morning leaving me to bash my hands against my head and dig my nails into my skin as I sobbed for the last hour. Then texts and says I'm fine were fine ok. But I'm not ok. And I have to say ok or it'll get worse and we have a 4 day vacation planned for tomorrow and I just feel like I'm falling faster and evwryones gonna get fed up with me and leave

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[990]
Jun 15

I can relate too. It's just I'm not there yet but i can already see it happening if i stay like this.

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MoonChildRaine's picture
[4665]
Jun 15

@Thedoctorhellokty I'm trying to find out how to get a card since medical is legal here, no real bud only oils and vapes so far. Its confusing though especially since now I have to get a job and at this point thc is basically a part of my DNA lol ill fail a thc drug test

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MoonChildRaine's picture
[4665]
Jun 15

@monikar I'm coming back to reply to this later I'm rushing at the moment.

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