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Not sure if I'm unhappy, anxious, stressed por depressed. I

Phoenix72's picture
[17235]

Not sure if I'm unhappy, anxious, stressed por depressed. I just feel like I'm sinking with no help in sight. Bed bound, financial dependent on my husband, but trapped in a loveless marriage, heck, forget love... there's no respect, understanding or empathy. I can't leave and I'm dying each day emotionally. Withering under a scorching hopelessness of life!
I'm angry with myself for not walking out when I could walk, move & was healthy. There is no purpose in life. No one to live for...it's just a whole stretch of emptiness...

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LadyO's picture
[2580]
Jul 12

Someone once told me, "Your past does not determine your future" but I didn't know whether I should believe them or not.

The idea sounded incredible and the thought of having a better future never left my mind. What if it was up to me to break the vicious cycle of doubt and initiate some changes? How did people do it?

I too battled severe depression and bipolar and convinced myself I didn't stand a chance to see life any differently. But I was wrong. Very wrong. One I latched on to some truths about how the body and mind work, regardless of circumstances, I knew I had a fighting chance to bring about some changes. I think the secret for me was believing it could really happen.

There is so much that happens to a person just because of their thought life. Have you ever heard the phrase, "As a man thinks in his heart so is he"? I am not talking about mind over matter, but rather realizing that what is in the mind and heart comes out of a person.

I can see why you conclude life is full of hopelessness, but life is so full of hope when we focus on where hope can be found. Everything that happens in a person's life has purpose, even when we can't see the bigger picture right away. Do not lose heart. If you would like to chat more, feel free to write back!

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Phoenix72's picture
[17235]
Jul 12

@LadyO I hear you... thanks for the encouragement. You are right. I'm like Courage, the cowardly dog! I lack confidence & courage. At the moment, I can't focus on anything more than the pain I am in. Actual physical pain from my condition. top that with emotional erosion...my brain understands what you are saying, but my heart is too caught up in hurt to catch up.
Will be in touch. I appreciate what you said. Sorry for the delayed response. Battling an eye infection.

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LadyO's picture
[2580]
Jul 13

@Phoenix72 Thanks for writing back - I hope it feels good to be able to label yourself the way you see yourself - it can serve as a means to motivate you to want to change.

We can't change our circumstances, but we can decide in our hearts how we will respond to them. Some situations are easier to deal with then others. The only way I was able to accomplish this was by setting goals and not waiting for my feelings to follow - I just acted a certain way regardless. I was then set free from the heavy weights that oppressed me.

Do you like to read? And would you enjoy some recommended reading? Either online articles or a book from the library?

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