This week's Topic: Giving yourself permission to be imperfect!!!

Have ideas for a new Blog, let us know!

https://www.supportgroups.com/blog/giving-yourself-permission-to-be-impe...

ARE YOU FOLLOWING US ON IG, PLEASE DO!!!
instagram.com/supportgroupsforeveryone

I’m having a really hard time right now. I am part of anot

I’m having a really hard time right now. I am part of another support site that is specific to rape & sexual assault. I befriended a young woman who I really clicked with. She and I are about the same age, related on having had to move back home, live in extremely religious families, whose father is also the leader of a congregation like mine. Our families have not been supportive to our healing journey as sexual abuse victims and have been skeptical about therapy, believing that if you have faith in God, pray, and read the Bible, that’s all you need. This friend and I have messaged almost everyday since I joined the support site. We have helped each other talk through our traumas, support each other when our families were invalidating, and have talked each other out of life-threatening on various occasions. She just messaged me tonight and said her family (large family) sat her down as an intervention tonight to say she is being negatively influenced by therapy and the support site. Her father who is a pastor, has basically forbade her from going to therapy and using the site anymore. She was distraught but wanted to let me know immediately. I know it’s discouraged, but I gave her my phone number and wrote to her everything encouraging I could think of. I feel so broken-hearted right now. Not just for myself, but more so for her... she has been struggling without the support of her family already, and therapy and the support site was all she really had to process her assault, which happened to be members of her own family. I worry about her so much. She has threatened her life yesterday and I tried to talk her down. I’m not sure if she’ll do okay without any support. I’m just so overwhelmed with losing one of my best support site friends, and am scared for her. I’m upset that our religious families are so judgmental and influential. Some say, we’ll just leave, move out, and cut off ties. It’s not that simple when you live in very strict religious communities like we do. My family has suggested I don’t used support sites either, but I just hide it well. I understand how the guilt can build though. I’m sorry for this being so long. I just feel so down and needed to vent.

show more ⇓
Comment
 13
View 10 More Comments
[5025]
Jul 31

I’m so sorry for your past abuse and your current dilemma. I’m someone who has been on a spiritual path for the past 26 years. I was brought up in the Christian faith but left it because I found it to be too rigid in its beliefs. I do believe in God and my journey has brought me many wonderful insights for which I feel blessed.

One of the things I do know is that there are many paths to God and He allows each person to walk their own path and to change it as they grow in their beliefs. I also know that He encourages each individual to first look inward to find solutions to their problems.

What I mean by that is to rely first on your feelings, your thoughts and your life experience to guide you. For example, that might mean sitting and having a conversation with God asking for help in finding a way forward that will embrace your current religion and at the same time allow you to heal from your abuse using whatever means He might suggest. Request that same help for your friend and ask your friend to do the same thing for her and you.

You may also know that the best way to make your request is to make it a statement that assumes you have already healed. For example, you request might be:

Thank you God for bringing me healing from my abuse and at the same time embraces my religion. I am very grateful.

Then remain tuned in to your feelings, your thoughts and your experience over the coming days. As you may already know, that guidance can come to you in many ways. Just stay alert to what is going on inside and any clues you may receive directing you to other sources. As long as your request is sincere and you believe you have been healed, you will be successful.

After you have made your request, you can compare notes with your friend. Understand that the answer you receive will be unique for each of you. I’m sending you each my love as you move through the healing process.

show more ⇓
Reply
[50]
Jul 31

dear irish girl! you are definitely not the pnly person to feel lonely, etc.! i am feeling esp. that way, because with this damned corvid-19, various classes & church has been cancelled. i really miss "hanging out" in person with my gal/dude pals & my relatives! we keep in touch via phone & e-mail, but it just is NOT the same. anyway! do you own a cat or a dog -- that you can pet each day? or maybe a friend's pet(s)? while i don't own any myself, some good neighbors do & i delight in petting them! i am their "pet foster aunt!" in closing (i have to go to bed here shortly), you are definitely NOT alone in your feelings of loneliness & other struggles that you may be experiencing. as best you can, take good care of yourself. hugs!

Reply
[50]
Jul 31

i was just really moved by your posting! there are, indeed, many paths to god! can relate to most of what you wrote. of it. i grew up in a very conservative church. the ministers preached that god & christ were the "only way to heaven." if you did not agree, oh no, then you were "bound for hell!" (not true -- i don't believe anymore that christ is the only path to heaven. still not sure if there is a hell or not.)

anyway, it took me years to slowly get healed over the past spiritual "guilting & shaming" & other abuses from those supposedly "religious," i have also fortunately met a lot of folks over the years -- that have their own spiritual paths. or they don't believe in any deity. whatever suits them best. i have been certainly blessed by meeting those folks who have kindly shared their beliefs.

i have experienced a lightness of soul, if you will, since walking away from such a strict religious path. i don't feel so bound anymore to to "conform" to others' beliefs in how i should practice my spirituality. whew! thanks again for your posting!

show more ⇓
Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account