I've never talked to anyone about my depression or my anxiet

I've never talked to anyone about my depression or my anxiety... My mom has depression also, and I just feel that if I talk to her about it, it will put my problems on her shoulders and she already has enough on her plate. I don't talk to my boyfriend about it because it makes him sad that I feel this way most of the time, so I always try to be happy for him. I was diagnosed with major depression and agoraphobia five years ago when I was 12 years old. It has been five long painful years now. No one even knows me anymore. I hate leaving the house. I hate going to school, (which I used to love) because of the bullies there who throw their nasty and hateful words towards me. I haven't self-harmed in over six months and I can't really take anything anymore. I've been so emotional lately and its tiring. I cry every day over the stupidest things. Sometimes I just cry for no reason! I'm tired of looking at my scars. I'm tired of people bringing me down with their words. My scars are just a reminder of my failures and how much I've fuc**d up over the past few years. I've never considered suicide. I never thought I'd feel that low. But now, my relationship with everyone I love is going down the drain, as well are my grades in school. I eat less. I sleep more (all day; not a good amount). I've been less talkative and Ive been more focused on how it would be if I just died. I was clean for six months, but my demons got the best of me and I have now, fresh cuts along my arms and stomach. I feel helpless. Hopeless. I will never take my self-harm any further than cutting. I never planned to. I will never plan to. Of course i have had thoughts of suicide, but i would never go through with it. I could never bring myself to do anything that lethal to myself... I guess this post was just me ranting about my problems. I've never opened up to anyone because I was always afraid they would criticise, or judge me because of my flaws. I guess I'm just not really sure what to do anymore.

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meganzaribunag's picture
[1755]
Mar 20

Oh, hey. I know this is tough for you but we're all here if you need someone to talk to. I've supported you. You can support me back and if you want to talk, you can just message me anytime.

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