I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 yea

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down, I'll remember it".
I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came In there for.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.
Now, I'm wondering... did I send this to you, or did you send it to me? Thanks

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DearPeace's picture
(8325)
Sep 30, 2021

@Lookn4raysofSunshine Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's good to read something that let's us know if you live long enough some of the bad flips to good and we can laugh about it. Hehehe

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(27720)
Sep 30, 2021

@DearPeace. Hilarious…and true! Thx for sharing!

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DearPeace's picture
(8325)
Sep 30, 2021

@NCMom You Bet! I got more depressed seeing Doom and Gloom even if it is October....

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