I hate feeling guilty for speaking trurh. As if my feelings

I hate feeling guilty for speaking trurh. As if my feelings don't matter. My neighbor called to check on me, she's a older widow and I would check in with her before her husband passing and after. She been supportive when I would be out of town and I even had to barrow a couple of dollars time to time. When I seen her ID I was happy to hear from her and so we talked and I caught her up. She asked if I needed anything I said I was OK. I shared I was glad she called bc I didn't want it to be one-sided. She said... "I'm sorry for focusing on myself and not you." My heart dropped, bc my meaning was I didn't want to always be a bother to her, some people don't want to be bothered an won't say. Then try to say your needy. I don't always know if I'm too blunt in my speaking or is it discomfort for not being honest with others about how I feel. People pleasing? I have to find a balance and let it go. Feeling guilty, embarrassed and shame. Why?

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DearPeace's picture
(1505)
Jun 10

Thanks for sharing that, I'm struggling right now if I should or shouldn't call her back to make sure she understands that I was apperceive of her call. Talking about it here helps me sit with it for a moment. When you don't know what to do, do nothing right?

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Moma_York's picture
(27210)
Jun 10

@DearPeace - I think it's okay to wait a while, yes, think it over and wait a little bit because when we're feeling overwhelmed, we might actually make things worse. But, if after thinking it over, communication will help clear things up. When you're ready, give her a call. I think you'll be doing the right thin calling her up to clarify, you'll feel a lot better that things got cleared up and she'll see how you DO care for her feelings as well as you took the initiative to check up on her. Take your time. :)

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105's picture
(1710)
Jun 11

I hope you are feeling better. Communication is key. If you feel you two had a misunderstanding, clearing that up should be a good thing. Best of luck.

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