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Hi I'm 22 and have crippling anxiety and bpd. All I want in

Hi I'm 22 and have crippling anxiety and bpd. All I want in life Is a true friend. But Because of how I grew up, isolated plus my anxiety, I have a very hard time making friends and always have... I'm a very nice person, I'm an animal lover, I will and have gone above and beyond to help those around me and yet... im always ALONE. I have no friends bc the ones I did have were into drugs and I no longer am. I dont know what is wrong with me, if I put off this invisible signal that I'm messed up or what, but I have never been able to have friends. I had 3 in high school, and as soon as I opened up to them, and I thought we were friends, they would leave and ignore me. And now with my anxiety and the fact that we're not in grade school and i cant just go up to someone and say "will u be my friend"? I feel even more like a loser because how the heck am I supposed to make friends now??? I dont like to go to the club or the bar, I just want a girl friend to text and tell about my day and maybe get together an smoke a blunt or the weekends when were both free... I swear theres nothing wrong with me....why cant I make friends?? Why am I like this?!

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almondmilk97's picture
[2205]
Feb 11

I am in a very similar situation and can relate so much to this post. I actually posted something similar a couple of days ago. I know it isn't the same but if you want an online friend to talk to, feel free to drop me a PM. I'm 21 and female. (Not a creep. I swear!)

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I_Am_Still_Here's picture
[2425]
Feb 11

Bars and clubs seem like the wrong place to make friends. Maybe volunteer somewhere and meet some people that are about helping others. Or maybe look into adult sports leagues if you are into sports. There’s groups out there for about any interest. I got one buddy who plays adult softball league and another who joined a hiking/camping group on meetup.com. And the hiker guy also volunteers at a wild animal sanctuary. I think it’s about putting yourself in a situation to connect with good people that have common interests.

Unfortunately this world is full of shallow and self absorbed people but if you look in the right places you can find some good people interested in community and giving back and deep connections.

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chinaandback's picture
[1815]
Feb 13

Hi! I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Are you in receiving treatment for your anxiety and bpd? It must be very lonely feeling like you are. Have you thought of volunteering at an animal shelter or walking dogs? You could meet like-minded people that way. Another suggestion is just smile at people whenever you are out, at the store, church, the gym, anywhere. They will most likely smile back. Take small steps to just putting yourself out there. Mention something you notice to someone while waiting in line. Church groups are excellent places to meet people. I'm a divorced mama of a teen, so I'm alone a lot but I try not to be lonely. Start by smiling :) Oh, and, so awesome that you aren't into drugs anymore! You should be proud!

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