i haven't used this website in so long but i really don't kn

i haven't used this website in so long but i really don't know where else to go to. i'm 18 and i need some serious advice for a lot of things. i know it's needy i'm so sorry but i'm in so much pain i don't want to suffer anymore. i can't stop binge eating. i'm constantly unmotivated depressed and lazy. and recently i've developed something really bad. my whole body hurts and i've been having bloody stool. it's a shooting stabbing burning and pulling pain throughout all my body. it started off as my shoulder blade falling asleep, then it went to my neck then my back then my hips knees and everything and before i knew it i was in the er. i just got out a few hours ago from me typing this. i went through a whole emotional trip because i was convinced it would be something horrible and terminal like cancer or lupus. however they told me there's nothing wrong and sent me on my way. while looking through the discharge papers i decided to have a closer look at my results for the x-rays blood and urine tests they did. i'm not a doctor by any means nor a student of medicine and the doctors told me i was alright which i'm assuming they know what they're talking about but i noticed alot of things were heavily elevated. for one my white blood cell count is a 11.9. ofc this scared the heck out of me so i frantically looked it up online and i find it could just be my body fighting off infection. i AM very prone to getting sick there's almost never a month im not at the doctors. and i just recovered from a rejected eyebrow piercing too. i also had my period which i read can also derail it, and i have this horrible back shoulder and hips pain thing going on which i also read inflammation can cause. secondly in my urine i see a high amount of ketones which i read is linked to diabetes despite my glucose levels coming out fine. the ketones were at 80 and apparently is a sign of concern and danger but the doctors didn't say anything about it to me so maybe it's fine??? despite all these things including the doctor insisting i'm okay i can't stop freaking out. i threw up from anxiety over all this just a few minutes ago. my stomach still burns and turns and i just can't seem to calm myself down. before i left my heart was racing at 136, they freaked out a little because when i first got there i was at 88. right now i have no idea whether my hearts going crazy or has stopped. it's hard to breathe really hard i can't even tell if it's the pain anymore or the anxiety or both. i'm scared i feel alone and afraid i feel like i'm missing so many other things i wanted to say but the anxiety and pain is getting to my brain and it's slowing my thoughts down and melting my brain. please please someone just give me advice encouragement a number to call a place to go a medicine to try ANYTHING i'm literally so desperate i don't want to be like this anymore. i'm so afraid for my life and my friends and family and health. i'm willing to do anything at this point. please someone be upfront with me. is there an underlying problem you can see? or is this all just a result of me being a binge eater who does no exercise and has barely moved almost the entirety of the quarantine. the pain is so intense right now in my chest ribs and back and i can't breathe my body feels like it's burning but i have no fever i feel so hopeless. i honestly think. i rather kill myself right now than be in this pain. i feel so alone please help me. everything i look up just makes it worse i'm terrified of cancer but everything i look up either links to cancer, hyperthyroidism, diabetes, or covid. please please please please help

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Jul 23

Dear diseasedcherryblossom,
I am going to call you Cherry Blossom. It seems to me that you are beautiful and smell wonderful and bring joy to others. But I do understand your story. First of all the advice you rec’d of steps to take are a great way to start. Go for it. Today is the first day of the rest of your lif- and it appears that you are going to have to take charge of your well being.
I spend years of doctors telling me nothing was wrong. It took sixty years to get a diagnosis but by then it really didn’t matter. I had taken responsibility for my own health and well-being and the symptoms had mostly gone and/or diminished.
This means I monitored my own health. I chose and ate the RIGHT foods. I ate healthy and nourishing foods. I avoided the trap of sweets, pesticides and other food hazards.
I exercised and maintained good physical well-being. Then I attended to my mental health and organized my life to minimize stress and find good food for my mind. I refused to view unhealthy films and read unhealthy books. I found things I enjoyed and pursued them.
I monitored my emotions and their impact and tried to balance my emotional life. Therapy might have helped but I shared with friends and family in a healthy manner and tried to maintain balance.
My spiritual self was so lacking. I begin to pray, seek God, my creator, and read the Bible. I asked for revelation and redemption from where I was and how I felt about life. I asked for healing and received the help I needed. I found Jesus. I asked Him to save me. He did and sent the Holy Spirit to guide me. I found a body of like-minded believers and joined them in fellowship and worship. I learned to have an attitude of gratitude. I enjoyed the creation that God had provided and reached out to share with others. L learned that life had a plan, given by my creator and that He would help me to live it to the fullest.
I still have the disease but it doesn’t control my life. God does. I live in hope, joy and beauty. You, dear Cherry Blossom can do this too if you want to. You can choose life and not depend on the knowledge and whims of the medical profession. They may bring help but you must take charge of your well-being and put them in proper perspective. They desire to help but can do only so much. Finding the right doctor is so important. But God in your life is the most important.
. I am praying for you to find the fullness of the life God planned for you. I am praying that you, dear Cherry Blossom will bloom where you are planted and be able to live each day bringing forth beauty and serenity.
God bless you.

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Jul 23

@DiseasedCherryBlossom sorry to hear you are not better. Have they recommended a dietician to help with the IBS symptoms? The burning sensation sounds like acid reflux. Perhaps a change of diet might help? Good luck!

Foundlove's picture
Jul 24

Are you going to same hospital? How about trying an urgent care that’s not too busy? Did they check a1c at hospital to rule out diabetes? How are your blood results compared to before? Is it better? It is possible to panic and have anxiety so much it causes physical symptoms. I had anxiety so bad last year I was throwing up and having shortness of breath. Looking up symptoms and trying to diagnose what’s going on isn’t going to do too much because you need doctor to prescribe you medicine for whatever it is. Perhaps keeping journal of what your doing or eating can help you figure out what foods you can keep down or when your symptoms are worse? I’m sorry your going through this. That’s scary. Hope you figure out and feel better!

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