I am anorexic. I am bulimic. I have times when I don’t e

I am anorexic. I am bulimic.
I have times when I don’t eat anything.
Other times, I eat everything in sight.

Every time I eat too much, guilt takes control of me.
Strong enough to starve myself.
And the restriction begins.

Right after the restrict comes the urge.
The urge to eat.

And I can’t control myself anymore.
I lose track of what I eat.
My body says no, but my mind says more.

Guilt, restrict, urge, binge, guilt, restrict, urge, binge.

The never ending cycle.

People compliment my physique.
But they don’t know that it’s a curse.
All I want is to be liberated.
From this mind that tortures its own flesh.

With strength and with courage I will escape this curse.

I just had another binge.
And I am tired.
Tired of compensating for my imperfections.

Yes I had a binge.
But I am human.
I am imperfect.

No more guilt.
No more compensations.
No more restrictions.

I am An Kitamura.
And I am more than what people see.
I have dreams. I have aspirations.
I have strengths.

It will be a long journey.
It won’t be easy.
For every step I go forward, there is a possibility of stepping back.
But at least I know.
I am headed in the right direction.

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Comment
 2
[390]
Dec 6

You're amazing! And most importantly...you are ENOUGH!!!

Reply
[75]
Dec 6

@1beatles thank u :)

Reply

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